By Emmanuel Hospice
For retired nurse Amy Lyons, being a volunteer for Emmanuel Hospice continues her lifelong pursuit of caring for others.
As a patient/family support volunteer, she’s at the bedside of a hospice patient providing comfort and peaceful companionship through the end of their life. Sometimes she talks with patients or reads to them, other times she’s more of a calming presence while she holds their hand or crochets a lap blanket.
“I was always taught the Holy Spirit will tell you what you need to do,” she says. “I can’t necessarily provide physical care as a volunteer, and as a former nurse, it’s hard not to help, but you find other ways to support. I’ll play music, hold their hand – whatever makes them comfortable.”
As she leaves a session with a patient, which normally lasts an hour to 90 minutes, she likes to ask if there’s anything she can bring them next time – something that brings them joy.
“One lady said sunflowers,” Lyons recalls. “Well, it was too early for real sunflowers, so I brought artificial ones. I explained this to her, and she said, ‘why yes, it is too early’ and then proceeded to tell me all about growth of sunflowers.
“I believe every patient always has something to teach you. If nothing else, it’s how to die with grace – all of them have been at peace in the end and that makes me happy.”
Lyons has been with several patients in their final moments in what’s known as “sitting vigil” – being at the bedside during someone’s last days or hours as they’re actively dying.
“I find it so rewarding,” she says. “People often ask how can you do that? And I can’t tell them enough what an honor it is to go and be selected to be with a person until their final breath.”
While most vigils last a few hours, the first patient she sat vigil with lasted nine days. She chose to be there with him for three to four hours a night, and when he passed, “It was a relief for both of us.”
“I thought, ‘he’s comfortable now,’ ” she remembers. “That is all I ever want to see, that you’re comfortable with where you’re heading. I tell patients, ‘no matter what you think or what you’ve done or haven’t done, it’s OK. You don’t have to be afraid.’ And for some, it seems that’s all they needed to hear – that it’s all going to be OK.”
Lyons also is a spiritual director trained by the Dominican Center in Grand Rapids, so she brings a spiritual side to her hospice volunteer work.
Lyons and her husband, who also is a spiritual director, have curated a library full of spiritual texts to better understand other belief systems and to offer readings that will resonate best with each individual patient.
“Figuring out what faith care they would like, and how to honor that is important to me,” she says.
One of her favorite tools for helping patients feel more comfortable and to open up about their life story is a book that contains a series of questions a father would typically answer for his own kids.
“I’ll look in the book and ask something like, ‘What’s your fondest memory of your grandkids?’ or ‘What do you remember about your grandma?’ and that usually gets people talking,” she says. “I’ll share about my life, too. I explain that being a nurse is very physical work, but I can sit and I can talk to them and hold their hand. I can’t care for them the way I used to, but now I can care for their spirits.
“I would never hesitate to volunteer again. If I knew how rewarding it would be, I would have become a hospice volunteer sooner in my life.”
Emmanuel Hospice is always looking for volunteers in the greater Grand Rapids area to provide companionship and support to patients. The nonprofit matches the unique skills and interests of prospective volunteers with the right opportunity, ensuring each volunteer receives a tailored area of assignment. More information can be found at EmmanuelHospice.org/volunteer.
