Suicide survivors and clinicians challenge stigma surrounding mental illness
By Deborah Reed
WKTV Managing Editor
TRIGGER WARNING: This article contains sensitive information about depression and suicide that may be distressing or traumatic for some individuals.
Madelyn Musser was 15 years old when she attempted suicide. Rachael Braginton attempted to end her life as a freshman in college.
It was several years before Monica Ruiz realized her depressive episodes and struggles with suicide were a result of complex trauma from her childhood and the resulting PTSD.
These three local women sat down with WKTV Journal to share their mental health journeys in the hopes of eradicating stigma surrounding mental illness.
Managing their mental health journey is a daily endeavor for millions of people worldwide. It is one undertaken and shared by these three local women. Joined by local clinicians and the Mental Health Foundation, they strive to rewrite the narrative surrounding their struggles.
Stigma: Victims of our own conditioning
You are going through: hormone changes, emotions, being ‘that age.’
But you have: a loving family, material possessions, a roof over your head.
All of the above are a fraction of what Madelyn and Monica heard from doctors and family members over the years as they struggled to understand a persistent sense of hopelessness.
“I don’t think my family are bad people,” said Monica. “I think they’re just a product of the culture in which we live, and these harmful beliefs or narratives that have been passed on from generation to generation.”
“I had to break out,” said Madelyn. “I did have a suicide attempt when I was 15, and I think that kind of set in everybody’s mind that she does need help.”
Rachael believes stigma resided inside her, ultimately stopping her from seeking help. Even with a caring and supportive family, good grades in school, great friends and good health, one question kept circling her mind: “Why would I be feeling this way?”
“I remember wishing I could be [physically] sick to make it make sense to myself,” said Rachael.
Because she couldn’t make sense of her feelings, Rachael feared judgment from others. Afraid people would think she was lazy, or couldn’t handle a certain stage in life, she repeatedly implied that she was doing well.
“It spiraled into a hole of lies,” said Rachael. “There’s support there, but I’ve been lying to my support. So now what do I do?”
Feeling she had cut herself off from all avenues of help, Rachael attempted to take her own life.
Perpetuating Silence
While Rachael struggled with crippling silence, Monica chose to be vocal about her inner battles – and was met with painful responses.
“I don’t believe you.”
“This can’t happen…You can’t not show up.”
The comments above, made by Monica’s graduate professor and co-worker, hurt Monica deeply.
“When those things happen, it really fractures trust, and really damages the relationship to the point where I feel this person is no longer safe to be honest [with],” said Monica.
“And that perpetuates the living in silence a lot of us experience.”
Therapist and owner of The Well Being Counseling and Fitness Center, Dr. Brendan Kelly, also believes that fear of judgment is a root cause preventing people from seeking help.
“People are afraid of being judged,” said Kelly, adding that people are even afraid of what their therapist might think of them.
Dr. Matthew Clark of The Clark Institute agrees: “They see it as a weakness, or something they don’t want to admit to somebody because they might feel ashamed.
“Almost everybody at one time or another has struggled with anxiety or depression, and there’s help out there. And if you get help for yourself, then you can help other people, too.”
Treatment – Understanding the journey of healing
Treatment is a journey that takes work and is an imperfect process.
“Not everybody understands that everybody is different in their treatment,” said Madelyn, admitting that it took years to realize medication did not work for her.
Clark agreed, saying there is not one set therapy or treatment.
Regarding medication, Clark said, “You can try until you find a medication that works for you. And [you] may not need it forever. It might just be a short period of time to get you through this period.”
Length of time until treatment begins working also varies.
“It can take a while,” said Kelly. “We are the world’s most complex organism known to mankind. We’re all different.”
Finding a therapist you feel comfortable with can also be a challenge. Many clinics have bios and pictures of available therapists to help that process.
Affordability of treatment
“One of the worst things is that, a lot of times, financial stress is a part of why a person is struggling,” said Kelly. “I really wish insurance would just remove the deductible for mental health.”
Checking with your insurance provider is a good place to start. Those enrolled in Medicaid do not have a copay for mental health services. There also are foundations who provide financial help to those who need it.
Agnew’s staff includes Masters-level interns that clients can see at a much lower rate.
“It was really important to me that our services be available for people who can’t afford it,” said Agnew.
Closing the gap, filling your toolbox
While medication can help close the gap between a low point and the stability sought, having a toolbox of coping skills is also important.
“I like to say I have a toolbox with resources,” said Monica.
Movement (e.g., walking) and mindful practices such as meditation and yoga are tools Monica engages in on a regular basis. However, community is an important resource for her as well.
“At my lowest, I tend to isolate, and I don’t really want to be around anybody,” said Monica. “But I know the people [in] my circle that I trust, and that I can call in those moments, that I feel safe around.
“Getting that contact – that social contact – has been really helpful for my mental health.”
Support groups are a great way to find that human connection.
“I can’t explain how helpful it is to be in a group who all struggle with complex trauma and mental health issues, and I know they all understand,” said Monica.
Though Rachael put off participating in group therapy at first, she quickly found solace in the rapport she found there.
“We all get it,” said Rachael. “There are people who can relate, and that can be uplifting.”
A life-changing impact
Christy Buck, Founder of be nice. and Executive Director of Mental Health Foundation of West Michigan, has made it her life’s mission to provide that support system – and she does it by way of educating people about mental illness.
Removing stigma so people understand what is happening in their lives, helping people identify signs of mental illnesses, knowing where to go, and how to help themselves or others are all part of Buck’s suicide prevention program.
Julie Gregory, mother of suicide victim Jessica Gregory, encourages individuals and organizations to embrace the be nice. program.
“Get onboard with the be nice. program and encourage people to listen and train these kids on how to watch for [warning signs],” said Gregory.
To learn more about be nice. and the four simple steps to recognizing depression and preventing suicide, visit Mental Health Foundation.
Help stomp out stigma surrounding mental illness by joining the free annual be nice. Stomp Out Stigma 5K Walk event in May each year.
Resources
If you or someone you know is considering suicide, contact the 988 Suicide and Crisis Lifeline. It is a free, 24/7 service that offers confidential support, information and local resources.
You can also text “HOME” to the Crisis Text Line: 741741, or text “nice” to the Crisis Text Line: 741741 to be connected with a be nice. crisis counselor.
Search for local treatment in your area: Local Resources.
Support for LGBTQ youth: The Trevor Project.
*Find more Mental Health: Rewriting the Narrative resources by clicking here.
