Tag Archives: Karen Thoms

On the shelf: ‘Toxic Charity’ by Robert D. Lupton

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By Karen Thoms, Grand Rapids Public Library, West Side Branch

 

Using the kindheartedness of most Americans as a backdrop, Robert Lupton’s Toxic Charity shows how the choices we make to express our compassion can have negative consequences on the very people we hope to help. It is a hard read because most of us who give have done some of the things he identifies as damaging. Yet he does not leave us to wallow in guilt or shame but quickly charts a course correction for givers that can make a restorative difference in the lives of hurting people.

 

Throughout the book Lupton walks us through actual situations where people or churches are giving time or money. Outcomes of these efforts are gleaned and measured. The stark findings command our attention: much of our giving is a Band-Aid and sometimes the results are disastrous! Lupton is able to turn our good intentions upside down to reveal pages of negative repercussions. We are brought up short story after story and then faced with the hard truth. There are no quick fixes when we are hoping to help people toward wholeness here or abroad. Being willing to consider Lupton’s assessments is a first step toward moving from hurtful aid to wholeness and development. 

 

Helping agencies and compassionate people will be challenged by the evidence in this book. Armed with this new knowledge Lupton turns the reader’s attention to the cure as he proposes an Oath for Compassionate Service, describes in detail what service with dignity looks like, and finally suggests steps to reaching the better outcomes we had hoped for in the first place. After reading Toxic Charity you will likely be changed in how you evaluate the use of your resources.

On the shelf: ‘Everyday Sacred’ by Sue Bender

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By Karen Thoms, Grand Rapids Public Library, Main

 

Sue Bender has written a timeless book. Five years after her New York Times bestseller Plain and Simple, Bender admits she drifted away from what she had learned living with the Amish. In Everyday Sacred she chronicles how she got back on track again.

 

Bender, a deeply spiritual person, draws on various religious traditions to light her path away from her internal harsh judge to her gentle “enough”. Her journey begins with a phrase everyday sacred and an image, a begging bowl. She does not know what either mean; yet from the beginning of the book the reader understands that she is going to trust the process of finding their meanings.

 

“All I knew about a begging bowl was that each day a monk goes out with his empty bowl in his hands. Whatever is placed in the bowl will be his nourishment for the day. I didn’t know whether I was the monk or the bowl or the things that would fill the bowl, or all three but I trusted the words and the image completely.”

 

She had hoped to find a straight path but hers led in circles. 

 

“So it helps if you listen in circles,” said a Jewish friend. And listen Bender does. She listens to “the opening ceremony of my day”—the smiley face her barista swirls into her cappuccino. She listens as a friend with a hurt knee tells her all the things she discovered on her walk because she had to walk slowly. When feeling overwhelmed, she remembered a friend telling her to “phase things in.” She pondered her physical therapist’s statement that she had “self-corrected in the wrong direction.” Her friend Helen, who lost everything in a house fire, said the fire “fine-tunes my attitude about the remainder of my life.” Bender listened, watched and acted her way back to her center.

 

Each day Bender presented her empty begging bowl and daily an experience, or a statement, or a feeling appeared in the bowl. By the end of the book Bender has slowed. 

 

“Being empty is a beginning.” 

 

“Good deeds have echoes.” 

 

Instead of judging her inabilities and flaws, clarity dawns.

 

“Our imperfections are a gift, the very qualities that make us unique. If we make the shift to see them that way—we can value ourselves… just as we are.” 

On the shelf: ‘Sensible Shoes…’ by Sharon Garlough Brown

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By Karen Thoms, Main Library

 

Can a novel deliver entertainment and promise spiritual enlightenment? It can when served up by West Michigan pastor and spiritual director Sharon Garlough Brown. Packed inside her engaging story, Sensible Shoes, is a small non-fiction work on incorporating ancient spiritual disciplines into life. This 2013 Midwest Publishing Awards Show Honorable Mention book chronicles the friendship between four women who meet at a spiritual disciplines class, a class none of them initially wanted to attend.

The back cover of the book describes the women this way:

  • Hannah, a pastor who doesn’t realize how exhausted she is
  • Meg, a widow and recent empty-nester who is haunted by her past
  • Mara, a woman who has bounced from relationship to relationship and who is trying to navigate a difficult marriage
  • Charissa, a hard-working graduate student who wants to get things right

The book is structured around the development of the friendships, how the women are responding to the Saturday morning lessons given over three months, and what the practice of each discipline is dredging up from their pasts. Key to the development of the story and spiritual growth of the women is the seminar leader, Katherine Rhodes, and Charissa’s professor, Dr. Nathan Allen. The reader is set up to understand the conflict in the story by Brown’s effective use of short flashbacks.

Most chapters begin with the handout the women received at the start of a session, followed by the leader walking the women through the new discipline. Brown makes smooth transitions from the seminar to the lives of each woman, which she separates within the chapters. The story flows just like a typical novel.

Do not be deceived. Even if you skip reading the handout page or the explanation of the discipline you will not be able to escape the spirituality because the women share it with you, with either the personal reflection going on in their heads or in dialogue with each other.

At times, the dialogue itself will make the reader feel as if they are sitting with their own spiritual director. Take these examples:

“He (professor) placed his elbows on his desk, still clasping his hands together. ‘Your desire for control is keeping you from entrusting yourself to Christ, Charissa. And your desire for perfection is preventing you from receiving grace. You’re stumbling over the cross by trying to be good, by trying so hard to be perfect.’”

In the session on praying with imagination, the leader, Katherine refers back to the story of Bartimaeus asking for sight: “That’s a courageous thing to ask for, isn’t it? Sometimes it’s easier to remain in our darkness and blindness. But Bartimaeus wants to see.”

In the session about establishing a rule of life, Katherine gives an analogy: “Rules of life are like trellises … helping branches grow in the right direction and providing support and structure.”

Other practices Brown successfully weaves into her story include: Walking a Labyrinth as a Journey of Prayer, Lectio Divina, Praying the Examen, Wilderness Prayer, and Self-Examination and Confession.

Although I believe this book will find only a small audience in readers from West Michigan, readers of Christian fiction, and readers of Christian spiritual growth books, my hope is that others will pick up this gem and be as pleasantly surprised as I was.

 

On the shelf: ‘Making Room’ by Christine Pohl

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By Karen Thoms, Grand Rapids Public Library-West Side Branch

The word ‘hospitality’ brings to mind dinners or parties with friends and family. Almost always being hospitable includes food and drink shared with people you know. If this description of hospitality resonates, you may find Christine Pohl’s discussion of the evolution of hospitality in Making Room an interesting read.

Weaving together Biblical texts and ancient philosophical writings, Pohl discusses the roots of hospitality. Initially people, especially members of the church, were hospitable to strangers in need. Gradually, the magnitude of these genuine needs caused people to think in new ways about meeting those needs. Hotels, hospitals and even our current mental health care system sprung up. As these agencies, businesses and non-profits became part of the social landscape, fewer individuals stepped up to aid the poor and outcasts of society.

Today professionals attend to those who need lodging and healing, making face-to-face encounters with people in need more difficult and less frequent. Pohl argues that the long-term effects of professionalizing hospitality contributes to those helped being disconnected from the community and feeling invisible. Her honest assessment includes how to engage with the disenfranchised instead of sending them to professionals or, if need be, to stand with them as they seek professional help.

Throughout this excellent work, which comes with a companion study guide, Pohl will guide you from abstract commitments of loving your neighbor to concrete expressions of hospitality to the marginalized. Read as a history you will be enlightened, read as a commentary on society and the church you will be challenged to think differently about what true hospitality is and provoked to actions that contribute toward community healing.

 

On the shelf: ‘Words Fail Me’ by Patricia O’Connor

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By Karen Thoms, Grand Rapids Public Library, Main 

 

I borrowed a library copy of Words Fail Me by Patricia T. O’Connor to fortify myself with the confidence I’ll need to write a book next year. I chose this book over others for its brief chapters, breezy, humorous style and perfect sprinkle of examples. Thirty chapters make for a perfect chapter a day reading plan, but I ran out of chapters in two weeks. Yes, a book on writing was that good!

 

The book is divided into three sections: ‘Pull Yourself Together’, ‘The Fundamental Things Apply’, and ‘Getting Better All the Time’. All three sections are necessary but can be read out of order.

 

I found ‘Pull Yourself Together’ the most inspiring because I was hoping to glean inspiration and courage to write again. Shortly into ‘The Fundamental Things Apply’ I knew I had to purchase the book because of the desire to highlight for future reference. I’m so glad I did because ‘Getting Better All the Time’ has great chapters on writer’s block and revisions. O’Connor’s pithy lines may give you just the push you need to begin or resume writing.

 

On having good organization:

 

“An idea in your head is merely an idle notion. But an idea written down, that’s the beginning of something … A writer with good material is one who never lets a useful nugget slip away … A tidbit doesn’t have to be earth-shaking to be worth saving. It only has to be useful.”

 

On having verbs that zing:

 

“So when you go shopping for a verb, don’t be cheap. Splurge.” Instead of saying,  “experience that magic,” say “bask in that magic”.

 

On improving writing:

 

“You can’t maintain a clear point of view without a consistent tone.” “When you write indirectly — with passive verbs, pompous words, or corkscrew sentences — you turn away from the reader.”

 

While reading this book I learned and was reminded of rules, tips and pitfalls; yet I was curious to know if seasoned writers would similarly profit. A search of Amazon reviews confirmed they did. So in concert with their recommendations, Words Fail Me will be my go-to book.

 

 

On the shelf: ‘Reaching For A New Potential: A Life Guide for Adults with ADD From a Fellow Traveler’ by Oren Mason M.D.

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reaching-for-a-new-potentialBy Karen Thoms, Main Library
I was gently spouting off my views about kids with ADD to a patron. It turns out that she was a teacher with an opposing view. She gently challenged me to read Oren Mason’s book Reaching for a New Potential.

Immediately I put the book on hold at the library, and to say my views have completely changed after reading it would be an understatement. Mason is no ordinary medical doctor. He suffered with ADD for years and made a surprising discovery while reseaching ways to help his two sons. Not only did his sons have ADD but he had the very symptoms he was reading about. He started medication and all areas of his life began to improve. He began treating more ADD patients as his passion for the condition and its treatment developed. Within three years he switched his practice over to exclusively treating ADD patients in Grand Rapids, Mich.

It is against this personal and professional back drop that Mason wrote Reaching for a New
Potential. The book is divided into three parts. The first third deals with medications. After years of homeschooling in the 1980s and 1990s and reading about the surge in children being diagnosed with ADD and put on medication, I was certain that doctors were too quick to label kids as having ADD. This was the opinion I was sharing with the library patron a couple of months ago.
Mason refutes that opinion right out of the gate. He states that not only is ADD not over-diagnosed, he believes it is under-diagnosed! And not only that, he believes that medication should be the first line of treatment once a person has been properly diagnosed, not the last resort.
I am not one to quickly change my opinions but Mason’s easy-to-understand arguments made complete sense. Mason unequivocally recommends that medications are the most important step to normalize the life of a person with ADD. He spends two chapters talking about the kinds of medications used in the treatment of ADD, highlighting their strengths and weaknesses. After a lengthy explanation, he had me convinced that generic drugs are usually not the way to go when treating ADD.
The middle of the book covers the care team a person with ADD needs to assemble to live the best life possible. He assumes that the patient is now on medication and asking what more they can do to help their brain function optimally. Many who are opposed to treating ADD with drugs start here.

Mason believes all these pieces — diet, exercise, sleep, no smoking and definitely no drinking the first two years of ADD treatment are extremely important. But the main reason that he doesn’t believe in starting here in the treatment of ADD is because he feels an unmedicated person with ADD is going to have a hard time addressing these pieces because most of them require planning — something in a short supply with ADD patients.

His other supports for the ADD patients toolbox are: good physicians, support groups, therapists, coaches, professional organizers and financial planners. The chapters in this middle third of the book will give the patient hope for change. The last chapter in this section, ‘Learning How to Treat Others’, will jumpstart the patient’s social skills, a skill the
loved ones of ADD sufferers will welcome.
The last third of the book delves into how the patient can fit in with other people in their lives especially at home and work. One whole chapter is devoted to the kinds of jobs that a person with ADD may be best suited for. The last two chapters of the book cover topics near and dear to the author’s heart: faith and healing.
At the end of the book Mason cautions against impatience with the healing process timeline. Getting the medicines tweaked correctly, gathering a support team and implementing the many suggestions for living in a world as a person with ADD will take years.

But he says, “The first milestone in the healing of ADD is the appearance of hope… Your hope is the reason I sat down to write this book. Far more important though, I suspect it’s the reason you finished it.”