By Deborah Reed
WKTV Managing Editor
“I see you, I hear you. You are valued, and I know things you have to say right now are things that need to be heard by all of us.”
This is the value Affinity Mentoring provides youth in our local schools, says Lauren Enos, Affinity Mentoring Program and DEI Director.
Lee Middle School in Wyoming has rekindled their partnership with nonprofit Affinity Mentoring after a two-year hold due to necessary school roof renovations.
Focusing on schools facing disadvantages, Affinity supports students in K-8th grade by matching them with a caring adult role model and striving to create a safe space for local youth to utilize their voice.
Small commitment = big impact
Affinity mentors journey alongside students for one hour each week.
“All of our mentors have said it’s the smallest commitment they’ve ever made for the biggest impact on their life,” says Enos. “We have a 90% retention rate. Mentors come back year after year to work with the same student because they become friends. It’s a true relationship.”
Holly Kroeze, mentor and Mars Hill Bible Church staff member, is entering her seventh year mentoring Lee Middle School student, Eternity. During that time, Eternity was adopted by her foster mother – and Kroeze has built a relationship with Eternity’s entire family.
“I have found that developing a relationship with [her] mom has been helpful because she gives me insight into things that are going on in Eternity’s life,” says Kroeze.
Kroeze went on to say that she has enjoyed partnering with other adults in Eternity’s life to give more extensive care and support.
“It’s fun to see kids like Eternity get care from multiple adults,” says Kroeze, adding that kids need support from five adults in order to thrive. “I’m grateful I get to be one of those people for her because she has grown a lot. It’s been so fun to watch her journey.”
Lee Middle School is Affinity’s third partnership in the Godfrey-Lee School District (also Godfrey-Lee Early Childhood Center and Elementary), and their sixth school partnership overall (Burton Elementary, Burton Middle School, Southwest Elementary – Academia Bilingüe).
“We’re really excited to be back in Lee Middle School,” says Enos. “We’re now able to follow the kiddos from early childhood into middle school.”
Lee MS Principal Adrianne Rose echoes Enos’ enthusiasm.
“We wanted to rekindle that partnership because this is an incredibly important piece to the whole child in our academics,” says Rose. “Our 6th graders, they’re excited to see their mentors. They ask about them, they want them to be here, and that to me tells me the mentors are doing what they’re here to do.”
A safe and inclusive space
While Affinity’s mentoring program has seen positive results such as increased school attendance and class engagement from students and a decrease in truancy, bullying and behavioral concerns – there are also personal benefits.
“We really hone in on our mentor centers to be a safe, inclusive space for our mentees to be able to share their difficulties,” says Rocio Moreno, Executive Director at Affinity Mentoring. “Some of it might be home-related or life-related, and we can tailor our program to that.
“Behavioral concerns tend to decrease because they’re able to engage in those hard topic conversations with their mentor as to why they might have made a particular choice throughout that time.”
An overall improvement in self-esteem comes from knowing that one-on-one support is available.
“[Students] feel more confident,” says Enos. “They’re willing to take risks and make mistakes because there’s someone there to say, ‘I was in that same place, and I made those mistakes too,’ normalizing all the everyday things they go through.”
That support can often go both ways.
Since beginning her journey as a mentor, Kroeze and her husband became foster parents.
“Eternity was the first person to give me the best advice about what to do and what things she liked,” says Kroeze.
“Our relationship has been mutually beneficial because I’ve learned a lot from her. Learned how to be a good parent, and learned how to relate to foster kids. For Eternity, she’s [gained] some stability and accountability in her life.”
100+ students are waiting…
Affinity Mentoring is always in need of new community volunteers who are willing to donate an hour of their time once a week.
“One hour a week eating your lunch, hanging out and making slime will go by so fast,” said Moreno with a smile. “But the need for volunteers is high as we currently have over 100 students on our waitlist that desire a mentor.”
Kroeze recommends joining the mentoring program with a spouse or partner.
“My husband and I do it together, and we’ve done it together since Day One,” says Kroeze. “It’s fun to put faces to names when you talk about what your day was like with your mentee.
“Mentoring together makes things a little bit crazier – but a lot of fun.”
Eventually, Moreno would love to expand Affinity’s mentoring program to Lee High School as well. “Because this is a middle school-high school, it would be an easy transition to continue for the students we currently work with.”
For more information about Affinity Mentoring services, click here.
Rather than look at which rule was broken and then doling out traditionally prescribed punishment, at-risk students may be sent to a circle for resolution. During a discussion led by the circle facilitator, the students come up with solutions to the issues raised. Circles help students look at what happened, determine the harm done, talk about how the harm can be repaired, and discuss how future harm can be prevented.