Tag Archives: LMSW

Who Is Therapy For?

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By Ronald Christian Rivera, LMSW, Outpatient Therapist, Leonard Street Counseling Center

Who is therapy for, anyway? Is it for me? How could I possibly benefit from talking to someone for an hour a week? These are questions I frequently hear as an outpatient therapist. I hope that sharing my thoughts on the topic of talk therapy will help to answer these questions.

 

Let me start by providing a short version of an answer: Most people stand to benefit from therapy for a variety of reasons. In general, it can be highly beneficial to have a trained professional to assist you through moments of crisis or simply to provide guidance and direction in times of doubt and confusion.

 

When I ask clients what brings them to therapy, I encounter a variety of universally held beliefs: “I’m weak and can’t fix my problems on my own.” “I must not be as strong as others think I am.” These responses reveal how mainstream society has stigmatized mental illness. This attitude stems from the belief that if you need help, then you must be weak. Due to this stigma, those who are affected by stress, anxiety, depression, and other problems begin to buy into the narrative that they are to blame. This serves as a roadblock to services for those who might otherwise be open to seeking help. Rather than stigmatizing and judging, we should acknowledge the strength and resilience necessary to endure tremendous pain and suffering. We should encourage suffering individuals with the message that there is hope, there is help in the form of professional counseling.

 

While society’s views about seeking help are a barrier for many, personal attitudes also play a role. Some refuse to ask for help due to pride; while others don’t feel they have a problem, they are not “sick” enough for therapy. Maybe these individuals have mild symptoms, or their problems pertain to relationships, life goals, or self-improvement. Avoiding professional help in moments of need may lead to bigger problems: worsening illness; impulsive decisions; increased likelihood of seeking drugs and alcohol to cope with stress. And, contrary to common belief, individuals with “minor” problems stand to gain tremendously from therapy: It serves as a tool to unlocking untapped potential, increased self-acceptance, and personal growth. In this sense, treatment offers a lens to the self. It deepens your understanding of what drives your thoughts, emotions, behaviors, and desires. In exploring these concepts, you experience higher levels of self-awareness and increased insight.

 

I’ve also had clients share that they’ve avoided treatment because they’d be wasting my time, which could be better spent on someone who really needs it. This is a common misconception. In reality, your perception of your situation is all that matters. If it’s important to you, if you believe it has affected you, then it has. Your stuff, however big or small, has an impact on you. You deserve validation.

 

Another barrier to treatment is the intimidation factor: the counselor’s office can be a scary place for many. We’re talking about opening up to a complete stranger, sharing things you don’t discuss with your loved ones, things you’d rather forget altogether. Talk about a leap of faith!

 

Truly participating in therapy means letting your guard down and allowing yourself to be vulnerable. Sure, this is a risk, but it’s risky to not seek help, and bear your burdens alone. I encourage your to consider the benefits of a trusting, collaborative relationship.  Imagine the liberating experience of placing your burdens at another’s feet, and learning skills to navigate life’s troubled waters. Through therapy, you learn to become an expert at managing your thoughts, feelings, behaviors. You learn to address your needs in a healthy way, implementing permanent, lasting skills that equip you to deal with whatever comes your way.

 

If you’re still asking yourself, “Is therapy for me?” I encourage you to ask yourself, “Why not me?” When we reach the core of what the therapeutic relationship represents, we are talking about personal growth, a deeper understanding, a heightened awareness, an increased insight that illuminates the path in your personal journey. For some, personal growth simply means learning basic coping skills to reduce emotional pain and suffering. For others, it takes on a different meaning altogether. Whether you’re experiencing mild symptoms of anxiety, or you’re trying to discover your true calling in life, therapy is for you.

 

Reprinted with permission from Cherry Health.

New Year, New… Blah?

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By Ronald Christian Rivera, LMSW, Outpatient Therapist

 

New Year, new blah… The fact that I put off writing this blog entry (New Year’s inspirational) until the end of January shows my lack of interest for hallmark catchphrases and societally forced transformations. Now, I know I’m coming off as somewhat pessimistic, but I’m the kind of person that thinks we should be seeking growth and transformation in our daily lives and not simply at the beginning of the year. Most of us sprint towards desired changes until we’re faced with obstacles and challenges that our new routines bring about, and in no time we find ourselves right back where we started.

 

Let me back up a bit and say that I do think there’s something special in regards to the hope and inspiration that a new year brings. For some people it represents a fresh start or a clean slate. If you’re someone that finds that spark for change due to this time of the year, then more power to you. Maybe I should be more embracing of this annual gift.

 

In treatment we have a scientific phrase used to describe the catalyst for change or universal phenomenon that we refer to as, “whatever works.” So, if kicking off the New Year generates newly found motivation in you to _____________ (insert New Year’s Resolution), then that’s the antidote to ambivalence. Below I have provided a rather commonsensical, yet overlooked, “how-to” guide that (hopefully) may assist in following through with your New Year’s Resolutions for 2016. “May the odds be ever in your favor.”- Katniss Everdeen (I think).

 

Comprehensive guide to achieving your New Year’s Resolution goals:

  1. Slow and steady wins the race. Set small, measurable, bite size goals that can be reasonably achieved within 1-3 months. This will help you to build off of your daily progress which in turn will provide additional motivation to stick with your plan as you meet short term goals and continue to raise the bar. Example: Instead of saying, “I want to get in shape by summer.” Try, “I’m going to exercise three times a week for the next month and aim to lose 10 pounds.”
  2. Your language matters. There have been some interesting articles that I’ve read throughout the years in regards to how our irrational thoughts can prevent us from taking risks and challenging our comfort zone. Negative thoughts, intrusive thoughts, and self-defeating attitudes can be toxic for anyone who is attempting to make changes in their lives. Even when we have the motivation to try something new and dare to take a leap of faith, our inner critic is right there to remind us of why we shouldn’t. Silencing our inner critic can be challenging, but one effective way to combat that pesky inner voice is by mindfully speaking to ourselves with the wisdom and encouragement that we would give to our best friends. Example: Instead of allowing your friend to dwell on past failures after experiencing a set back on a new business venture, it would be more constructive to challenge their negative attitude by helping them focus on past accomplishments that were only met after overcoming adversity. It is essential that we channel this stream of positivity and affirmation in moments of “self-talk” in order to silence the voice of self-defeat.
  3. Make it fun! This is a big one for me. If the resolution you’re looking to make involves a significant lifestyle change, then it is essential that you have a fun time doing it. We humans love our habits, and man, is it difficult to lose our comforts no matter how destructive or maladaptive they may be. Example: For some of us that might be finding the simple pleasures of adjusting to an early morning routine and for others it could be finding a creative exercise to stay in shape if running or biking are not your cup of tea. The takeaway is this: the more fun or pleasure we get from the activity the more likely our body will crave that we repeat it.

Reprinted with permission from Cherry Health.

10 Things You Can Do To Get Some Sleep

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By Ronald Christian Rivera, LMSW, Outpatient Therapist, Leonard Street Counseling Center

sleep
Courtesy Cherry Health

We know that sleep problems can cause some forms of obesity, irritability, memory problems, immune concerns,  anxiety and depression. Check out this article with a list of 10 things we can do to promote a good night’s sleep:

  1. Understand that every person needs at least 7 to 8 hours of sleep per night.
  2. Develop a sleep hygiene plan that becomes routine every night, if possible.
  3. Get rid of your television and i-technology in your bedroom.
  4. Go to bed at the same time every night.
  5. Do not eat a heavy meal before bedtime, but do eat some small carbohydrate before bed.
  6. Exercise daily but not at night.
  7. Avoid emotional conversations or arguments right before going to bed.
  8. Don’t drink too much caffeine or alcohol during the night.
  9. Don’t nap during the day…exercise instead.
  10. If you can’t sleep, get up and clean your toilet instead or wash your floors.

Reprinted with permission from Cherry Health.

The ‘Secret’ to Happiness

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By Maram Hekhuis, LMSW, Outpatient Therapist at Heart of the City Counseling Center

 

You probably opened this blog for a reason: you are tired of feeling sad, angry, anxious, hurt, hopeless and helpless, and you want to feel happy in your life. You are probably asking yourself “why me?” “why does everyone have it all, but not me?” “why can’t I be happy?”

 

You may feel victimized by questions that don’t seem to have the answers. As a result, you may feel your life is narrowing in around you, you may feel darkness surrounding you, and you may want to just find a way out. Happiness is not something you inherit or just find. Happiness is something that you need to build up. Building happiness is a process that requires time, patience, effort, hope, and commitment.

 

If you fail once in building happiness, don’t give up but rather try it again and again. Remember that life is not easy. There is the good, and there is the bad. Just believe that there are better days ahead of you.

 

So, what is happiness then? According to this article, research suggests that happiness is related to life satisfaction, appreciation of life, moments of pleasure, and the experience of positive emotions. But, how could we experience these factors to build our happiness? The answer is: what we think (thoughts/cognitions) and what we do (behaviors) influence our feelings.

 

Now that you have learned that our thoughts and behaviors affect how we feel, let’s learn how to make changes in our thoughts and behaviors to build our happiness.

Changes in Cognition:
  • Positive affirmations: Positive affirmations encourage us to believe in ourselves. These types of statements empower us and motivates us to self-change. You need to begin your statements with “I” or “I am”. For example, “I can do it”. You could write down a list of positive affirmation statements in your diary, on a piece of paper, or on your smart phone apps. Read or/and repeat them daily to yourself.
  • Be aware of your self-defeating thoughts. “If I’m not successful, then I’m a failure”. Stop and challenge them. What are the evidences that support and don’t support your thoughts? Remember thoughts are just ideas, they are not facts or necessary true. Sometimes our thoughts happen so quickly that we fail to notice them, but they can still affect our mood. These are called automatic thoughts. Remember positive thoughts lead us to feel good and negative thoughts can put us down.
  • Be aware of and challenge your perspectives about yourself, people and the world. We all give different meanings to situations and see things from our point of view. Therefore, broaden your perspective and see the bigger picture. Ask yourself: “is there another way of looking at this?”
  • Acceptance. Be comfortable with who you are. “it is as it is”. We tend to fight against distressing thoughts and feelings as if our mind is in a war zone. Learn to just notice them and don’t fight the war. Some situations we just cannot change. We can surf the waves rather try to stop them.
  • Be appreciative and mindful. Notice what you have rather than what you don’t have. Live in the present rather the past or future.
Behavioral Changes:
  • Do things for others. This will help you connect with others. Helping and giving to others make us feel valued, appreciated, needed, and happier. We could give our time, attention, and ideas, not necessary money and gifts. You may want to volunteer somewhere.
  • Connecting with others. Strong social relationships lead to happier and healthier life, give us meaning, and sense of belonging, improve our self-esteem, and make us feel loved, and valued.
  • Do what you enjoy doing. You could engage in exercise if you enjoy it as being active makes us happier and healthier as our body and mind are connected.
  • Learn new things or skills. Increase your interest and confidence as this will give you a sense of achievement and success. Find a job, meet new people, try out something new.
  • Have goals to look forward to and never stop dreaming and believing in yourself and abilities. Feeling good about the future is important for our happiness. Goals motivate us to move forward in life. Make your goals achievable.
  • Find meaning and purpose in your life.
  • Find ways to bounce back in difficult time.

Reprinted with permission from Cherry Health.

Top 5 Tips To Make the Most of Summer

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By Ronald Christian Rivera, LMSW, Outpatient Therapist, Leonard Street Counseling Center

Summer is here, which means the weather is nicer, the days are longer and there always seems to be more fun things to do. Here are some tips from a popular Psychology Today blogger to make the most of your summer.

  1. Reconnect with nature. Don’t love the gym? Head outside to get in your daily exercise. Also, who can resist the awesome farmer’s markets and those healthy fresh fruits and veggies?
  2. Summer reading. Yes, it’s fun to see those summer blockbuster movies, but when was the last time you went to the beach and just relaxed and enjoyed a good book?
  3. Vacation. Need we say more?
  4. Be spontaneous. There are so many activities happening throughout the summer – enjoy them! Jet off to the beach, see that outdoor concert, take a bike ride. Summer is the perfect time to enjoy those non-planned outings.
  5. Be in the moment. Summer is a great time for making memories. It always seems to be the season that passes the most quickly, so take the time to enjoy it while it’s here.

To read the entire Psychology Today blog, please click here.

 

Reprinted with permission from Cherry Health.