Tag Archives: Mindfulness

Self-compassion: An often misunderstood part of health and well-being

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By Karen Pace, Michigan State University Extension


What comes to mind for you when you hear the word self-compassion? For many, words like self-pity, self-centered and self-indulgent are quickly associated. People often think that self-compassion is about letting ourselves off the hook or making excuses for our mistakes and shortcomings. These are common misconceptions according to Kristin Neff, Ph.D., associate professor at the University of Texas and pioneering researcher in the area of self-compassion. 


According to Neff, self-compassion is about asking ourselves what we need and offering comfort and care during times of stress, pain and difficulties. She states that self-compassion is actually a motivator that helps people move toward overall health and well-being for themselves. For example, an increasing body of research suggests that self-compassion reduces anxiety and depression—and enables people to suffer less while also helping them to thrive. 


Too often we get in our own way when it comes to self-compassion. Many of us have learned inaccurate information through a steady stream of dominant culture and societal messages, and we have come to believe that self-compassion is not a quality we should practice. Neff shares five common myths about self-compassion:

  1. “Self-compassion is a form of self-pity.” While this is a common misperception of self-compassion, research shows quite the contrary. People who get stuck in “isn’t it awful” thinking, self-pity and feeling sorry for themselves are actually less likely to be self-compassionate. People who are more self-compassionate are better able to take life’s difficulties as they come, move through them with more ease and grace and keep things in perspective.
  2. “Self-compassion means weakness.” When we come face-to-face with our mistakes, faults and failings, it’s very common for our shame to get triggered which makes us feel exposed and vulnerable. And when we’re unaware that our shame has been triggered, we may try to protect ourselves from painful feelings by shutting down, acting tough or acting aggressively toward ourselves and others. Far from being a weakness, researchers are finding that self-compassion is one of the most important aspects of coping, resilience and mental health as we move through the inevitable complexities and messiness of life.
  3. “Self-compassion will make me complacent.” Many believe that judgement and harsh criticism for self and others is the best way to motivate people and that self-compassion will make us lazy, unmotivated and indifferent. What research actually shows is that fear-based self-criticism leads to a fear of failure, lack of confidence and depression. While self-criticism kills motivation, self-compassion motivates us to be more proactive, take risks and achieve emotional well-being and contentment in our lives.
  4. “Self-compassion is narcissistic.” This myth stems largely from confusion about the difference between self-esteem and self-compassion. Many of us have heard about the importance of helping youth and adults develop self-esteem. And while there is general consensus that self-esteem is positive, research shows that the focus on helping people “feel good about themselves” sometimes comes at a high cost. For example, the emphasis on developing self-esteem is linked to self-criticism, self-judging, self-evaluating, perfectionism and comparing oneself to others. For some, having high self-esteem means feeling superior, above average and better than others and is linked to bullying behaviors such as putting others down as a way of trying to feel better about oneself. Self-compassion is different. Self-compassion honors the fact that we all have strengths and weaknesses and recognizes that our successes and failures do not define who we are. Self-compassion also encourages us to see ourselves as interconnected to a common web of shared humanity while extending to ourselves the same respect, understanding, kindness and care that we would to a beloved friend or loved one.
  5. “Self-compassion is selfish.” For many people, especially women, our concept of self is closely tied to taking responsibility for everyone else’s physical and emotional needs. When we have been taught that we are supposed to take care of others at all costs, we may feel that being self-compassionate is the same as being selfish. According to Neff, a growing body of research shows that being self-compassionate and taking good care of ourselves helps us to sustain our capacity for generosity and service to others while not becoming burned out, angry or resentful.

Practicing self-compassion helps us to accept our own humanness and imperfections with kindness and increases people’s motivation to learn, to change for the better and to avoid repeating past mistakes. It also helps people feel less isolated and helps them keep their problems in perspective. Self-compassion has been shown to reduce anxiety and depression and lead to greater emotional balance and resilience in the face of struggles and challenges. If you’re interested in finding out how self-compassionate you are, you can use Kristen Neff’s self-compassion scale. 


Michigan State University Extension provides resources, workshops and programs to help parents, adults and youth develop social and emotional skills and practice everyday mindfulness through programs like Stress Less with Mindfulness and Be SAFE: Safe, Affirming and Fair Environments.


This article was published by Michigan State University Extension. For more information, visit http://www.msue.msu.edu. To have a digest of information delivered straight to your email inbox, visit http://www.msue.msu.edu/newsletters. To contact an expert in your area, visit http://expert.msue.msu.edu, or call 888-MSUE4MI (888-678-3464).

Take 10 for mindfulness

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Feeling stressed? Try a little mindfulness for the health of it. (Courtesy Spectrum Health Beat)

By Len Canter, HealthDay

 

Feel yourself being pulled in a million directions and losing track of what’s really important? The meditative practice called mindfulness can help you get centered and re-focus on what’s meaningful to you.

 

And it doesn’t take time that’s already in short supply on your busy schedule. You can reap the benefits in less time than it takes for a coffee break.

 

Mindfulness shows you how to block out distractions and replace stress and other negative emotions with a sense of well-being. You accomplish this by focusing on the here-and-now — your present thoughts and feelings, not past concerns or future worries. You also learn to accept these thoughts and feelings without passing judgment on them, such as labeling them as good or bad, right or wrong.

 

Practicing mindfulness is easier than you might think. At the start of each day, you might take 10 minutes to do a few yoga stretches — yoga incorporates mindfulness because it teaches you to focus on your breathing as you move through poses.

 

Or spend 10 minutes at lunch or anytime during your workday to do a head-to-toe de-stress. Breathe in and out as you zero in on each part of your body, going from toes to the top of your head.

 

To unwind at night, consider more formal “guided” mindfulness, maybe with a podcast you can listen to through your smartphone. The UCLA Mindful Awareness Research Center offers free ones, starting at just 3 minutes long.

 

Who doesn’t have time for that?

 

Reprinted with permission from Spectrum Health Beat.

Mindfulness helps change the way we think

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By Tony Schnotala

When you think about your life, what comes to mind? Do you reflect on your job, on how your day and week is largely structured around it? Perhaps you think about your family members and how your interactions with them affect your mood. But how often do you think about how you think?

 

Mindfulness is one way that we can examine how we think about our patterns of thinking. This skill helps us to change how we think. Contrary to some misconceptions, mindfulness is not a religious ritual or a belief system. While some of its origins come from the Eastern cultures, mindfulness has found its way into Western spheres of thought and practice. Some of its techniques even mirror modern day cognitive therapy.

 

You may ask yourself why mindfulness matters in our 21st century culture. Consider this: According to the American Psychological Association, chronic stress can cause a variety of mental and physical health problems, such as anxiety, depression, insomnia, muscle pain, high blood pressure, and heart disease1.

 

While it’s true that we can’t change some of the circumstances in our life, we can change how we think about them. This doesn’t mean we need to be happy about things that upset us in our life, but we can look at such events more objectively and have a calmer, more accepting attitude. Research also shows that mindfulness can help reduce symptoms of anxiety and depression2.

 

There are hundreds of books and articles about the origin and techniques of mindfulness, but I will highlight some of the most common techniques and concepts. In short, mindfulness means paying attention to something in the present moment, and refraining from trying to change the situation around us. Remember, mindfulness takes practice and time, and results may not come right away.

  • Breathing: We all do this, but we often change how we breathe based on how we think and feel. If we are angry or nervous, we tend to breathe quickly into our lungs. If we are tired or falling asleep, we breathe from our diaphragm. To practice mindful breathing, take a slow, deep breath into your diaphragm, hold it for a few seconds, and slowly release it. Repeat this process for a few minutes, and pay attention to this pattern of breathing. Your body will naturally calm itself and put you in a more relaxed state of mind.
  • Body scanning: We tend to hold stress in different areas of our body, but because our attention is often used for other tasks, it’s easy to overlook cues our body sends us. To practice this technique, sit comfortably in a chair, and close your eyes. Allow your attention to start from the bottom of your feet. Can you focus on the feeling of your socks or the hardness of the ground? Allow your attention to slowly drift up your body. What are you feeling in your ankles? Do your lower legs feel tense? Can you feel the sensation of your upper legs against the chair? You can do this with all areas of your body, from head to toe. The key is to observe sensations in your body without judging them as good or bad. When you first do this, resist the temptation to “fix” the pain you may feel. You may be pleasantly surprised that sometimes, just examining how you feel will allow your bodily sensation to pass.
  • Five senses: This skill involves paying attention to our sensations based on our five senses. For example, if you are outside on a summer’s day, you can find a comfortable place to observe your surroundings. Listen to each sound you hear: the wind blowing in the trees, the birds singing in the distance, the sound of cars passing by. How does the sun feel on your skin? What smells do you notice? Are you able to pay attention to the colors and shapes in the leaves? If you choose to take a drink of cold water, can you pay attention to its taste? These techniques can be done anywhere, such as the mall or your office. The point is to become comfortable noticing your senses. Doing so can help you appreciate the moment rather than judging it or worrying about other things.
  • Thought monitoring: From my experience, this is perhaps the most difficult technique to practice and become comfortable with. It involves simply monitoring your thoughts and feelings as they come up, and not attempting to judge or stop them. Your thoughts and feelings will arise, settle, and pass. If you are new to this approach, it can be unsettling to become aware of something you typically don’t notice. But with practice, the approach can improve your awareness and allow you greater freedom from your thoughts. To practice thought monitoring, sit in a comfortable position in a quiet area with your eyes closed. Allow your mind to become still and free of any concerns that you are having. As you relax and allow the darkness and quiet to envelop you, some thoughts and feelings will arise. Notice them without judging or attempting to change them, and allow your mind to return to calmness. If you need a little more grounding to help you return to a state of calmness, you can use mindful breathing. These videos can help you practice this concept.3,4

Mindfulness takes practice, and it’s something that many, including myself, struggle to incorporate into daily life. Like any technique, it takes a commitment to make it a regular skill that we use in our normal daily function. The good news is that you are probably using mindfulness already, and you may not be aware of it. The choice is yours as to how much mindfulness you will incorporate into your life. If you choose to be more mindful in your life, you may be pleasantly surprised at how much peace and calmness you will find.

  1.  http://www.apa.org/helpcenter/chronic-stress.aspx
  2. http://www.npr.org/sections/health-shots/2014/01/07/260470831/mindfulness-meditation-can-help-relieve-anxiety-and-depression‘
  3. Headspace – ‘Expectation’ animation
  4. http://www.mindful.org/adorable-animated-mice-explain-meditation-in-2-minutes/ 

Reprinted with permission from Cherry Health.

Mindfulness can help detect depression

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By Tracie Abram, Michigan State University Extension

 

The transition of summer to fall is not many people’s favorite time of year as it brings on physical and mental fatigue. Muscles often tense due to the cooler weather, the decreasing daylight triggers an earlier bedtime, skin is drier due to lower humidity and appetites spike. The beautiful fall colors are a welcoming and enjoyable distraction from all the mentioned bodily reactions to this transitional time, but for some, these seasonal changes may be a trigger that leads to Seasonal Depression or Seasonal Affective Disorder. During the fall and winter months, people with Seasonal Depression experience having a lack of energy, sleeping too much, overeating, weight gain and a craving for carbohydrates.

 

Other forms of depression that can occur, no matter what the season, can be more difficult to identify. One way to help notice your moods is practicing mindfulness. Mindfulness is a practice of paying attention or focusing on your senses in the present moment without judgment. If a depressed mood is noticed for more than two weeks or there is a loss of enjoyment and interest in activities that used to be enjoyable, one should consider speaking to their primary care provider or appropriate professional, or at least, a trusted friend. Depression oftentimes occurs with anxiety or substance use disorders, and once a person has had an occurrence of depression, they are more susceptible to subsequent episodes.

 

Symptoms of depression affect one’s emotions, thinking, behaviors and physical well-being:

  • Emotional symptoms of depression: sadness, anxiety, anger, mood swings, lack of emotional responsiveness, feelings of helplessness, hopelessness and irritability.
  • Symptoms of depressed thoughts: frequent self-criticism, self-blame, worry, pessimism, impaired memory and concentration, indecisiveness and confusion, tendency others see you in a negative light, thoughts of death and suicide.
  • Behavioral symptoms of depression: crying spells, withdrawal from others, neglect of responsibilities, loss of interest in personal appearance, loss of motivation and using alcohol or other drugs.
  • Physical symptoms of depression: chronic fatigue, lack of energy, sleeping too much or too little, over eating or loss of appetite, constipation, weight loss, weight gain, headaches, irregular menstrual cycle, loss of sexual desire and unexplained aches and pains.

If you or a loved one are experiencing any form of depression, talk about what you are noticing. If you are concerned about others, ask them if they are having suicidal thoughts, listen to them non-judgmentally, give reassurance and encourage them to seek medical attention. Offering to take them to their appointment may increase the likelihood that they will attend. If they dismiss or deny your help, tell them you will check in on them over the week. It is important to keep your promise to do so. Remember, people in depressed moods have impaired memories, they lose track of time and have difficulty recalling how long they have been feeling blue. If symptoms persist, ask others who are close to the depressed person to help you in the intervention process.

 

Helping people recognize their moods can be a stressful and scary task, especially if you do not practice being mindful of your own well-being. Attending a program that can help you become more aware and/or improve your mindset could be a starting point. MSU Extension provides a community-based program series that teaches the basics of mindfulness to help participants be more aware of their thoughts, emotions and physical self as they encounter stressors. Mindfulness is proven to help relieve stress and pain and improve health and well-being, to learn more, sign up for a class near you.

 

This article was published by Michigan State University Extension. For more information, visit http://www.msue.msu.edu. To have a digest of information delivered straight to your email inbox, visit http://www.msue.msu.edu/newsletters. To contact an expert in your area, visit http://expert.msue.msu.edu, or call 888-MSUE4MI (888-678-3464).

Youth and adults can learn to navigate stress through mindfulness

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Courtesy Michigan State University Extension

By Karen L. Pace, Michigan State University Extension

 

A growing body of reliable, scientific research shows the benefits of social and emotional learning for both youth and adults. According to the Collaborative for Academic, Social and Emotional Learning (CASEL), efforts that promote social and emotional learning improve young people’s academic success and overall health and well-being, while reducing negative behaviors such as alcohol and drug use, violence and bullying.

 

Learning to navigate distressing emotions and stress are important aspects of emotional growth and development. Kids, like adults, experience daily stressors in their lives that can take an emotional and physical toll. In a national KidsHealth® KidsPoll, young people said the things that caused them stress included grades, school and homework (36 percent); family (32 percent); and friends, peers, gossip and teasing (21 percent). Too often, kids’ reactions to stress are seen as inappropriate negative behaviors that need to be stopped rather than opportunities to teach new skills that help young people learn to calm their minds and bodies.

 

One way for children and adults to develop self-awareness and the ability to navigate stress is through the practice of mindfulness. Mindfulness is a process of active, open, nonjudgmental awareness. It is paying attention in the present moment with openness, curiosity and flexibility. Neuroscience and psychological research suggests that the intentional practice of mindfulness improves the immune system as well as increases gray matter in the brain involved with learning and memory processes, emotion regulation, empathy and perspective taking.

 

Parents, educators, youth workers and others can provide opportunities to practice everyday mindfulness with the young people in their lives. Everyday mindfulness involves paying attention to our experiences in the moment rather than being caught up in our fearful, angry, anxious or worried thoughts. When we are caught up in these distressing thoughts, we often lose perspective about the best way to respond in a painful, difficult or stressful moment.

 

According to sources like the Benson-Henry Institute for Mind Body Medicine at Massachusetts General Hospital, here are a few examples on how to practice mindfulness:

  • Simply notice the sights, smells and things that surround you. Focus on what’s there for you in the moment, right here, right now. If you find your mind starts to wander, that’s okay. Find something in your surroundings to focus on that will bring you back to the here and now.
  • Count your breaths either aloud or in your head. This is helpful if you’re feeling stressed, nervous or overwhelmed. Breathe in for five seconds, counting 1-2-3-4-5. Breathe out for five seconds, counting 1-2-3-4-5. Simply be aware of your stressed or nervous feelings. Don’t judge those feelings or try to push them away. They will pass as you count and breathe.
  • Release tension in your body. Sit, stand or lie down in a comfortable position. Simply notice where you feel tense or stress in your body. When you breathe in, picture yourself gathering the stress or worry into a cloud. When you breathe out, picture yourself releasing that stress or blowing the cloud away.

Research shows that practicing everyday mindfulness is good for our physical, social and emotional health and well-being. Even if our experience in a moment is painful or challenging, we can remain open, aware and curious about it instead of running from it or fighting with it. When we remain mindful and in the present moment, we are better able to tap our deepest, wisest self and respond to hard situations in ways that reflect our core values and who we want to be in the world.

 

This article was published by Michigan State University Extension. For more information, visit http://www.msue.msu.edu. To have a digest of information delivered straight to your email inbox, visit http://www.msue.msu.edu/newsletters. To contact an expert in your area, visit http://expert.msue.msu.edu, or call 888-MSUE4MI (888-678-3464).