Tag Archives: stigma

“Where’s Woody?” Michigan man to walk 2,000+ miles for mental health awareness

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By Deborah Reed

WKTV Managing Editor

deborah@wktv.org


#WOODYWALKS in Murg, Switzerland (Courtesy, Ellis)

One man, 2 feet, 2+ years, 2,000+ miles – and a cause.

Woody Ellis begins his trek across the United States with the Mackinac Bridge Walk on Sept. 2 in an effort to combat stigma surrounding mental illness.

With a family history of dementia and schizophrenia, losing family and close friends to suicide and struggling against depression himself, Ellis often feels overwhelmed by the prevalence of mental illness.

“I’m seeing a lot of these types of things,” said Ellis. “The older you get, the more stuff you see, and more stuff happens to your loved ones. It’s starting to be a lot.”

And when Ellis feels overwhelmed, he travels.

“It takes my mind off things,” said Ellis. “I just need a reset.”

Though that “reset” is an act of mental self-preservation, Ellis battles guilt when he travels and leaves loved ones behind. That feeling of selfishness prompted Ellis to found #WOODYWALKS.

“How can I explore but also help some of the causes that are affecting so many people I know?” said Ellis. “I figured a way to do both things was to do something extreme that would draw attention and raise money for some really good organizations related to these causes.”

#WOODYWALKS was born.

Ellis is expecting the #WOODYWALKS journey to take anywhere from 2 to 3 years. Though he plans to hike an average of 10-15 miles per day, they may not be consecutive miles.

“A big part of it for me is enjoying the experiences I have along the way,” said Ellis. “So I’m going to be open to saying ‘yes’ to things along the way because part of it is interacting with strangers and spreading joy, smiles, laughter, hugs and all that kind of stuff.

“I also may stray away from the trail at times, and then pick back up where I leave off.”


#WOODYWALKS in Guatape, Columbia (Courtesy, Ellis)

Daring to be different

Forty-three-year-old Ellis has never been one to follow the beaten path.

“I’ve always been a unique individual. I really fly by the seat of my pants,” said Ellis, adding that he was not made for the 9 to 5 way of life.

“As soon as they started telling me that’s the only way to do it, I started exploring other ways. That was my initial inspiration to be different.”

In 2016, Ellis took a 60-hour train ride from Chicago to Vancouver, where he lived on a floating wharf on an uninhabited island. He has been solo traveling around the world ever since.

The upcoming #WOODYWALKS adventure will, in large part, also be traveled solo.

“It’s never been a problem to be by myself…that’s the type of person I am,” said Ellis.


#WOODYWALKS in Toubkal (Courtesy, Ellis)

Where’s Woody?

Ellis decided to begin his cross-country adventure with the annual Bridge Walk.

“I looked at the date and it fit my timing,” said Ellis. “Because I’ve lived in Michigan my whole life, I felt like that was a really good way to send me off.”

Ellis will then travel west through the Upper Peninsula and Wisconsin. From there, he will head south, then west again to take advantage of better weather.


#WOODYWALKS in Zambujeira, Portugal (Courtesy, Ellis)

Walking trailers and…a hammock?

“For the most part I’m going to be hammock camping and exchanging services, or cooking dinner, for strangers if they can provide a couple of trees for me to hang my hammock.”

Not only will Ellis be toting a hammock, he will also be hauling a variety of hiking supplies.

Those supplies include a sleeping bag, camping pillow, Jetboil cooking system, one pot, utensils, a headlamp, an extra blanket, clothes, a water filter, a water pouch, hiking boots and camera equipment.

Ellis realized carrying that much weight on his back would not allow him to travel far and began searching for solutions.

He found HipStar.

Specializing in walking trailers, HipStar designed a hands-free trailer with a belt that fastens around the traveler’s waist.

“It takes all the weight off your back and puts it on your lower half,” said Ellis. “This trailer is definitely a game changer.”


#WOODYWALKS in Hawaii (Courtesy, Ellis)

Smile for the camera!

Throughout his journey, Ellis plans to capture the experience with his iPhone camera and share pictures and short videos.

“I’ll be doing diary videos where I’m talking about my experiences,” said Ellis.

He plans to include footage of setting up camp, making dinner (“I always have to get creative with meals”), getting water from a river with a water filter, interactions with people, campfire  interviews related to mental health…and, of course, walking.

“Pretty much a little bit of everything so people can vicariously come along,” said Ellis.

#WOODYWALKS footage will be posted to Ellis’ social media channels and in the #WOODYWALKS newsletter. Social media and newsletter links can be found on the #WOODYWALKS website home page.


#WOODYWALKS in Dubruvnik (Courtesy, Ellis)

Join Woody’s adventure!

#WOODYWALKS is a community endeavor, with several options for people to support mental health charities and interact with Ellis on his journey.

“There are multiple ways on my website to support,” said Ellis. “I have charities picked out and have pages for each charity. They can donate directly to the charity.”

There is also an option to donate directly to the #WOODYWALKS project to help alleviate trip expenses.

“I’m not going to be working any of my current jobs; this is going to be my full-time job. I’m going to be editing movies and content, which is work on its own.”

People can support the charity of their choice by signing up to walk with Ellis. “If people join me, whether it be for a week or a month at a time, I will focus entirely on the charity of their choice during the time they’re with me.”


#WOODYWALKS in the village of Mousehole in Cornwall, England (Courtesy, Ellis)


Also on the website is an option to host Ellis.

“If people are aware that I’m coming ahead of time, they can tell me where they are along my route and I can stop for a night or two,” said Ellis.

Brand sponsorships are available for businesses, and #WOODYWALKS t-shirts are available for purchase as well, with proceeds supporting the #WOODYWALKS mission.

Ellis will be wearing #WOODYWALKS t-shirts throughout the journey to ignite curiosity and interest.

“I want [people] to ask me what I’m doing and strike up conversations.”

Where will Woody walk next?

Though Ellis has no concrete plans after completing #WOODYWALKS, he will continue to travel – and give back.

“I would like to do other projects similar to this where it involves giving back, and also related to things that I’m passionate about,” said Ellis. “It’ll definitely involve traveling and doing something good for communities.”

World traveler Woody Ellis talks about his upcoming 2,000+ mile hike across the United States with WKTV Managing Editor Deborah Reed

Mental Health: Rewriting the Narrative – Part 2

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Suicide survivors and clinicians challenge stigma surrounding mental illness

Stigma surrounding mental illness can be eradicated through knowledge and understanding (Courtesy, pxhere.com)


By Deborah Reed

WKTV Managing Editor

deborah@wktv.org

TRIGGER WARNING: This article contains sensitive information about depression and suicide that may be distressing or traumatic for some individuals.


Madelyn Musser was 15 years old when she attempted suicide. Rachael Braginton attempted to end her life as a freshman in college.

It was several years before Monica Ruiz realized her depressive episodes and struggles with suicide were a result of complex trauma from her childhood and the resulting PTSD.

These three local women sat down with WKTV Journal to share their mental health journeys in the hopes of eradicating stigma surrounding mental illness.

Moderated by Jessica Jones of Mental Health Foundation of West Michigan, lived experience participants (left to right) Madelyn Musser, Monica Ruiz and Rachael Braginton discussed the stigma and challenges of mental disorders (Courtesy, Deborah Reed WKTV)


Managing their mental health journey is a daily endeavor for millions of people worldwide. It is one undertaken and shared by these three local women. Joined by local clinicians and the Mental Health Foundation, they strive to rewrite the narrative surrounding their struggles.

Stigma: Victims of our own conditioning

You are going through: hormone changes, emotions, being ‘that age.’

But you have: a loving family, material possessions, a roof over your head.

All of the above are a fraction of what Madelyn and Monica heard from doctors and family members over the years as they struggled to understand a persistent sense of hopelessness.

Harmful beliefs and narratives make it difficult for those suffering to receive help (Courtesy, pxhere.com)

“I don’t think my family are bad people,” said Monica. “I think they’re just a product of the culture in which we live, and these harmful beliefs or narratives that have been passed on from generation to generation.”

“I had to break out,” said Madelyn. “I did have a suicide attempt when I was 15, and I think that kind of set in everybody’s mind that she does need help.”

Rachael Braginton now works as Program Coordinator for Mental Health Foundation of West Michigan (Courtesy, WKTV)

Rachael believes stigma resided inside her, ultimately stopping her from seeking help. Even with a caring and supportive family, good grades in school, great friends and good health, one question kept circling her mind: “Why would I be feeling this way?”

“I remember wishing I could be [physically] sick to make it make sense to myself,” said Rachael.

Because she couldn’t make sense of her feelings, Rachael feared judgment from others. Afraid people would think she was lazy, or couldn’t handle a certain stage in life, she repeatedly implied that she was doing well.

“It spiraled into a hole of lies,” said Rachael. “There’s support there, but I’ve been lying to my support. So now what do I do?”

Feeling she had cut herself off from all avenues of help, Rachael attempted to take her own life.

Perpetuating Silence

Monica Ruiz was met with disbelief and indifference from people she thought would help her (Courtesy, WKTV)

While Rachael struggled with crippling silence, Monica chose to be vocal about her inner battles – and was met with painful responses.

“I don’t believe you.”

“This can’t happen…You can’t not show up.”

The comments above, made by Monica’s graduate professor and co-worker, hurt Monica deeply.

“When those things happen, it really fractures trust, and really damages the relationship to the point where I feel this person is no longer safe to be honest [with],” said Monica.

“And that perpetuates the living in silence a lot of us experience.”

Therapist and owner of The Well Being Counseling and Fitness Center, Dr. Brendan Kelly, also believes that fear of judgment is a root cause preventing people from seeking help.

You are not alone – most everyone has experienced anxiety or depression at some point (Courtesy, pxhere.com)

“People are afraid of being judged,” said Kelly, adding that people are even afraid of what their therapist might think of them.

Dr. Matthew Clark of The Clark Institute agrees: “They see it as a weakness, or something they don’t want to admit to somebody because they might feel ashamed.

“Almost everybody at one time or another has struggled with anxiety or depression, and there’s help out there. And if you get help for yourself, then you can help other people, too.”

Treatment – Understanding the journey of healing

Treatment is a journey that takes work and is an imperfect process.

“Not everybody understands that everybody is different in their treatment,” said Madelyn, admitting that it took years to realize medication did not work for her.

Instead of medication, Madelyn Musser relies on various coping skills to manage her mental health (Courtesy, WKTV)

Clark agreed, saying there is not one set therapy or treatment.

Regarding medication, Clark said, “You can try until you find a medication that works for you. And [you] may not need it forever. It might just be a short period of time to get you through this period.”

Length of time until treatment begins working also varies.

“It can take a while,” said Kelly. “We are the world’s most complex organism known to mankind. We’re all different.”

Finding a therapist you feel comfortable with can also be a challenge. Many clinics have bios and pictures of available therapists to help that process.

Affordability of treatment

“One of the worst things is that, a lot of times, financial stress is a part of why a person is struggling,” said Kelly. “I really wish insurance would just remove the deductible for mental health.”

Financial resources are available for those seeking treatment (Courtesy, pxhere.com)

Checking with your insurance provider is a good place to start. Those enrolled in Medicaid do not have a copay for mental health services. There also are foundations who provide financial help to those who need it.

Agnew’s staff includes Masters-level interns that clients can see at a much lower rate.

“It was really important to me that our services be available for people who can’t afford it,” said Agnew.

Closing the gap, filling your toolbox

While medication can help close the gap between a low point and the stability sought, having a toolbox of coping skills is also important.

“I like to say I have a toolbox with resources,” said Monica.

Movement (e.g., walking) and mindful practices such as meditation and yoga are tools Monica engages in on a regular basis. However, community is an important resource for her as well.

“At my lowest, I tend to isolate, and I don’t really want to be around anybody,” said Monica. “But I know the people [in] my circle that I trust, and that I can call in those moments, that I feel safe around.

“Getting that contact – that social contact – has been really helpful for my mental health.”

Being around other people who have experienced similar struggles can be very helpful (Courtesy, pxhere.com)

Support groups are a great way to find that human connection.

“I can’t explain how helpful it is to be in a group who all struggle with complex trauma and mental health issues, and I know they all understand,” said Monica.

Though Rachael put off participating in group therapy at first, she quickly found solace in the rapport she found there.

“We all get it,” said Rachael. “There are people who can relate, and that can be uplifting.”

A life-changing impact

Christy Buck, Founder of be nice. and Executive Director of Mental Health Foundation of West Michigan, has made it her life’s mission to provide that support system – and she does it by way of educating people about mental illness.

Removing stigma so people understand what is happening in their lives, helping people identify signs of mental illnesses, knowing where to go, and how to help themselves or others are all part of Buck’s suicide prevention program.

Julie Gregory, mother of suicide victim Jessica Gregory, encourages individuals and organizations to embrace the be nice. program.

“Get onboard with the be nice. program and encourage people to listen and train these kids on how to watch for [warning signs],” said Gregory.

(Courtesy, MHF)

To learn more about be nice. and the four simple steps to recognizing depression and preventing suicide, visit Mental Health Foundation.

Help stomp out stigma surrounding mental illness by joining the free annual be nice. Stomp Out Stigma 5K Walk event in May each year.

Resources

If you or someone you know is considering suicide, contact the 988 Suicide and Crisis Lifeline. It is a free, 24/7 service that offers confidential support, information and local resources.

You can also text “HOME” to the Crisis Text Line: 741741, or text “nice” to the Crisis Text Line: 741741 to be connected with a be nice. crisis counselor.

Search for local treatment in your area: Local Resources.

Support for LGBTQ youth: The Trevor Project.

*Find more Mental Health: Rewriting the Narrative resources by clicking here.


Click here for full video: Clinician Experience

Mental Health: Rewriting the Narrative – Part 1

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A grieving mother gives voice to her daughter’s pain

Jessica Gregory’s journal and last letter to her mother (Courtesy, Deborah Reed WKTV)


By Deborah Reed

WKTV Managing Editor

deborah@wktv.org

TRIGGER WARNING: This article contains sensitive information about depression and suicide that may be distressing or traumatic for some individuals.


Jessica Gregory (Courtesy, Julie Gregory)

At approximately 3 a.m. on March 10, 2015, 28-year-old Jessica Diane Gregory silently ended the internal pain she fought to free herself from most of her life.

Jessica’s mother, Wyoming resident Julie Gregory, prefers to focus on Jessica and her struggles versus the act of suicide when talking about her daughter’s death.

“I lost my daughter to depression, bullying and bipolar disorder,” said Gregory when talking with WKTV Journal.

Mental illness does not discriminate

Jessica had a family who loved her, was in the top 20 in her high school class of 2004, participated in sideline cheer and the competitive cheer team, ran track and had amazing friends.

Despite all of these things, Jessica was hounded by a darkness that led to physically harming herself and a suicide attempt in high school. Jessica’s internal struggle eventually spiraled into a loss of all hope.

Excerpts from Jessica’s journal and various other writings reveal the internal pain she battled daily:

Several pages of Jessica’s journal contained detailed plans of how she could end her life.

“I’m not ashamed or scared to talk about suicide or how my daughter ended her pain,” said Gregory. “We need to end the stigma surrounding suicide and mental illness. Redefine the way people talk about suicide and the way we think about suicide, and look at it as an effect of an illness.

“Why is it that the brain is the only organ in your body that will get judged for being ill?”

Gregory went on to say that those who die by suicide have lost a battle with a disease.

“They couldn’t hold on any longer,” said Gregory. “I feel it’s our job to help them hold on. Mental illness is treatable.”

‘I’m sorry, Mom. I love you.’

The last time Gregory saw her daughter alive was like a hundred others. There was nothing to indicate Jessica planned to end her life that night.

After having dinner with her family, Jessica and Gregory finished a jigsaw puzzle and began another.

Gregory had no idea Jessica purchased a handgun nine hours earlier.

Jessica’s journal and last letter to her mother (Courtesy, Deborah Reed WKTV)

At approximately 10:30 p.m., Jessica helped her mother put the puzzle table away and went home to her apartment.

After writing one last letter to her mother in pink marker – her favorite color – Jessica silently ended the pain she battled daily.

Before you ask…educate yourself

Gregory said one of the hardest questions people ask her is: “How did she do it?” Gregory’s palms turned toward the ceiling, shrugging in disbelief and saying, “Does it matter?”

An entry from Jessica’s journal (Courtesy, Deborah Reed WKTV)

What matters to Gregory is that her daughter is gone forever.

Another question Greogry repeatedly faces is, “Why didn’t you get her help?”

“We did get her help,” Gregory said vehemently. “She did go to the doctor, she was on meds, she went to therapy. She had a psychiatrist, she had a counselor, she had all these people. She had a team of people.

“You can put a mask on and show people what you want them to see,” Gregory continued. “It’s not always easy to see.”

Dr. Valencia Agnew of Adolescent and Family Behavioral Services agrees.

“Even when parents, and people in general, have noticed a lot of signs, it is also possible to miss signs,” said Agnew.

Jessica with her cat, Desi (Courtesy, Julie Gregory)

When Gregory went back and looked at specific dates in Jessica’s journal, she was stunned at how well Jessica hid her true emotions.

After one particular journal entry that conveyed Jessica’s wish to die, Gregory looked back at Facebook pictures, realizing it was the same day the family attended a birthday party. All pictures from that day portrayed Jessica as happy.

Gregory thought to herself, “She was happy. That was the mask she wore. And she was thinking all day about how she could die?”

Selfishness vs. Mentally Ill

Entry from Jessica’s journal (Courtesy, Deborah Reed WKTV)

Gregory shares her daughter’s struggle because she wants others to understand that the thought process of a mentally ill person is not normal.

“I am simply showing people how the mind of my mentally ill daughter was thinking,” said Gregory. “She wasn’t looking to hurt anyone. She was ending her pain and what she thought was a life that couldn’t get better.”

Suicide is not selfish, Greogry continued. “Suicide is a desperate way to end pain, physical or mental. It is a hopelessness that things will never get better. It is a feeling that family or friends will be better off without them.

Entry from Jessica’s journal (Courtesy, Deborah Reed WKTV)

“Those who are suffering don’t want to end their lives, they want to end their pain.”

Gregory also hopes to end usage of the term “committed suicide.”

“In 1964, it was a law that it was illegal to commit suicide – but they didn’t know anything about it,” said Gregory. “Now that we know more, we can talk more about it and we don’t have to use those ‘committed’ words.”

“We say ‘died by suicide,’” Gregory continued. “Instead of focusing on the act, we focus on the person and what was going on.”

Picking up the Pieces

Gregory and her family faced a lot of “firsts” as they learned to maneuver life without Jessica. Gregory credits their faith in God and having each other to lean on as the key to their survival.

Julie Gregory is dedicated to helping others navigate the pain she endures daily (Courtesy, Deborah Reed WKTV)

The grieving mother’s main focus after losing Jessica was making sure her son, younger than Jes by 14 years, was okay. That everyone around her was okay.

And that included other people who found themselves enduring the loss of a loved one.

“I had hundreds of people send me messages,” said Gregory, adding that she welcomes those messages. “People can come to me.”

Gregory is a vocal advocate for the Mental Health Foundation of West Michigan’s be nice. program. She encourages schools and organizations to take part in the program, take action, and save lives.

However, for Gregory, personal comfort and healing comes in the form of helping those enduring the aftermath of loss. She does this through the i understand love heals program.

“For me, helping people pick themselves up after – it just hit home.”

Grieving and healing

“I didn’t have time to grieve, and I still won’t take that time to feel sorry [for myself], because I need to be 100% to help all these other people,” said Gregory.

While Gregory admits that is not the healthiest approach, she has no plans to stop being that voice for Jessica and a source of hope for those grieving.

Jessica’s last words are tattooed on Gregory’s forearm (Courtesy, Deborah Reed WKTV)

“Just to know that I’ve helped others is healing to me, and so I don’t know any other way to grieve,” Gregory said. “I grieve sitting at that big table and having new people come to the group that literally just lost their family member two weeks ago.

“And I feel their pain, and I will grieve for that family and those lost, and for Jessica.”

A voice for Jessica

Gregory proclaims herself to be an open book, refusing to hide that her daughter ended her own life.

Instead, two years after Jessica’s death, Gregory chose to open both her own life and Jessica’s to scrutiny and possible ridicule in the hopes that even one person would see – and choose – hope.

Jessica with family and friends (Courtesy, Julie Gregory)

Picking Up the Pieces is a blog that unveils Jessica’s journey, her internal pain, bullying she experienced at her job, and the aftermath Gregory endures daily since finding Jessica in her apartment nine years ago.

Gregory does not hold back, laying bare the pain and darkness – and emphasizing the glimmer of hope she knows is always present, even if not always noticed.

Though Gregory has been pushed out of her comfort zone countless times over the last several years, she embraces each challenge so she can share Jessica’s story and be that voice for her daughter.

“If I reach just one person, letting them know they aren’t alone, it is worth sharing,” said Gregory. “Or, maybe someone reading these pages who doesn’t have a mental illness will be enlightened by what is in someone’s mind that does.”

#ThereIsAlwaysHope

Jessica applied for a new job before she took her life. A job at a hospital where she could help others and could carry out her personal life mission. Multiple interviews and a job shadow followed.

A Picking Up the Pieces blog entry (Courtesy, Julie Gregory)

The darkness Jessica fought against, however, overwhelmed her before she heard their decision.

“The day after Jessica’s suicide, there was a message left on her cell phone voicemail,” said Gregory. “It was a message from the hospital she had applied at.

“She received that call one day late…”

Julie and Jessica both have a tattoo symbolizing a mother and daughter and their love for each other (Courtesy, Deborah Reed WKTV)

The timing of that voicemail is something Gregory encourages all who struggle to contemplate.

“There is always hope,” said Gregory. “No matter how bad today can be, things will get better. You can’t leave today, because tomorrow everything could change.

“Life is all hills and valleys, and for every valley that you’re in, those hills are going to be amazing.”

Monica Ruiz, in a personal place of mental health recovery for the past few years, echoes that message.

“I do believe that all suffering is temporary,” said Ruiz, adding that there will be moments of relief even in the lowest times. “So please hold on. There is help. It gets better.”

A radical resolve

Gregory’s resolve to eradicate stigma and live with hope is evident in each word of Picking Up the Pieces.

“I am determined to be more than just a survivor,” said Gregory on her blog. “I am determined to find the silver lining, I am determined to see my glass as half full, I am determined to keep talking about mental illness and the side effects that ‘Pain’ can cause some people.

“I am determined to help change the definition of suicide.”

Eradicating stigma 

“The stigma needs to be lifted about mental struggles,” said Gregory. “We need to talk about it, out in the open, and not treat it like a dirty secret – those days are past. We need to continue this conversation.”

Help stomp out stigma surrounding mental illness by joining the free annual be nice. Stomp Out Stigma 5K Walk event in May each year.

The be nice. program and action plan (notice, invite, challenge, empower) educates students, staff, and community members about mental illnesses and encourages them to exchange stereotypes for understanding, compassion and acceptance.

Resources

If you or someone you know is considering suicide, contact the 988 Suicide and Crisis Lifeline. It is a free, 24/7 service that offers confidential support, information and local resources.

You can also text “HOME” to the Crisis Text Line: 741741, or text “nice” to the Crisis Text Line: 741741 to be connected with a be nice. crisis counselor.

Search for local treatment in your area: Local Resources.

Support for LGBTQ youth: The Trevor Project.

*Find more Mental Health: Rewriting the Narrative resources by clicking here.


Click here for full video: Lived Experience