Tag Archives: Tracie Abram

Equanimity is yoga for the brain

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By Tracie Abram, Michigan State University Extension

 

Are you about to send your last child to college, the military or into the work field? How is this soon-to-be separation affecting you? Do you have friends or co-workers that will be empty-nesters or have entered this phase who seem to be managing better or are more emotionally calm?

 

When a child leaves the house in search of independence, it can be an emotional time for all involved. To make this transition easier, it may help to focus on the positives and what you will gain and practice equanimity.

 

In the book, Buddha’s Brain–The Practical Neuroscience of Happiness, Love & Wisdom by Rick Hanson, PH.D. and Richard Mendius, MD they describe that the human mind defaults to negative emotions and suffering, but with practice, you can re-wire the brain to develop equanimity. The word equanimity comes from the Latin roots meaning “even” and “mind”. The definition of equanimity is mental calmness, composure and evenness of temper, especially in a difficult situation.

 

In a sense, equanimity is your brains circuit breaker. It breaks the chain of suffering by separating the feeling tones of experience from the machinery of craving, neutralizing your reactions to those feeling tones. The authors also state that psychologists have a term they call “demand characteristics” for the aspects of situations that really pull at you. With equanimity, situations have only characteristics, not demands.  When you have equanimity, you do not grasp after enjoyable experiences or push against undesirable ones, you have space, or a buffer zone, between you and your feeling zones and are able to not react impulsively.

 

How do you train your brain to not react but to maintain calm? In the book there are five stages to developing the factors of equanimity:

  1. Understanding–Develop an ability to recognize that rewards and painful experiences are transient, meaning both do not last that long or are that awful. Life is a continuum of change and that most of the factors that shape the future are out of your hands.
  2. Intention–Keep reminding yourself of the important reasons for equanimity, you want more freedom from craving and suffering it brings.
  3. Steadiness of Mind–Pay particular attention to the neutral feeling zone. Through sensitizing yourself to the neutral aspects of experiences, your mind will become more comfortable staying with them, and less inclined to seek rewards or scan for threats.
  4. Spacious Awareness–The space of awareness allows every content of the mind to be or not to be, to come and to go. Thoughts are just thoughts, sounds are just sounds, situations are just situations and people are just being themselves.
  5. Tranquility–Do not act based on the feeling tone. Set aside a period every day, even just a minute long to start with then increase or extend that time, to consciously release preferences for or against anything. Your actions will be guided more by your values and virtues rather than your desires that are reactions to positive or negative feeling tones.

In closing, Buddhism has a metaphor for the different conditions in life. They are called the Eight Worldly Winds:

  • Pleasure and pain
  • Praise and blame
  • Gain and loss
  • Fame and ill repute

As you gain equanimity, these winds have less effect on your mind. When managing the emotions of separation, think of the gains your child is striving for rather than the loss to you. Michigan State University Extension offers social-emotional health development programming throughout the state that are designed to help participants navigate feelings and stress. Peruse their website to find a Stress Less with Mindfulness or RELAX: Alternatives to Anger series event in your county.

 

This article was published by Michigan State University Extension. For more information, visit http://www.msue.msu.edu. To have a digest of information delivered straight to your email inbox, visit http://www.msue.msu.edu/newsletters. To contact an expert in your area, visit http://expert.msue.msu.edu, or call 888-MSUE4MI (888-678-3464).

Mindfulness can help detect depression

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By Tracie Abram, Michigan State University Extension

 

The transition of summer to fall is not many people’s favorite time of year as it brings on physical and mental fatigue. Muscles often tense due to the cooler weather, the decreasing daylight triggers an earlier bedtime, skin is drier due to lower humidity and appetites spike. The beautiful fall colors are a welcoming and enjoyable distraction from all the mentioned bodily reactions to this transitional time, but for some, these seasonal changes may be a trigger that leads to Seasonal Depression or Seasonal Affective Disorder. During the fall and winter months, people with Seasonal Depression experience having a lack of energy, sleeping too much, overeating, weight gain and a craving for carbohydrates.

 

Other forms of depression that can occur, no matter what the season, can be more difficult to identify. One way to help notice your moods is practicing mindfulness. Mindfulness is a practice of paying attention or focusing on your senses in the present moment without judgment. If a depressed mood is noticed for more than two weeks or there is a loss of enjoyment and interest in activities that used to be enjoyable, one should consider speaking to their primary care provider or appropriate professional, or at least, a trusted friend. Depression oftentimes occurs with anxiety or substance use disorders, and once a person has had an occurrence of depression, they are more susceptible to subsequent episodes.

 

Symptoms of depression affect one’s emotions, thinking, behaviors and physical well-being:

  • Emotional symptoms of depression: sadness, anxiety, anger, mood swings, lack of emotional responsiveness, feelings of helplessness, hopelessness and irritability.
  • Symptoms of depressed thoughts: frequent self-criticism, self-blame, worry, pessimism, impaired memory and concentration, indecisiveness and confusion, tendency others see you in a negative light, thoughts of death and suicide.
  • Behavioral symptoms of depression: crying spells, withdrawal from others, neglect of responsibilities, loss of interest in personal appearance, loss of motivation and using alcohol or other drugs.
  • Physical symptoms of depression: chronic fatigue, lack of energy, sleeping too much or too little, over eating or loss of appetite, constipation, weight loss, weight gain, headaches, irregular menstrual cycle, loss of sexual desire and unexplained aches and pains.

If you or a loved one are experiencing any form of depression, talk about what you are noticing. If you are concerned about others, ask them if they are having suicidal thoughts, listen to them non-judgmentally, give reassurance and encourage them to seek medical attention. Offering to take them to their appointment may increase the likelihood that they will attend. If they dismiss or deny your help, tell them you will check in on them over the week. It is important to keep your promise to do so. Remember, people in depressed moods have impaired memories, they lose track of time and have difficulty recalling how long they have been feeling blue. If symptoms persist, ask others who are close to the depressed person to help you in the intervention process.

 

Helping people recognize their moods can be a stressful and scary task, especially if you do not practice being mindful of your own well-being. Attending a program that can help you become more aware and/or improve your mindset could be a starting point. MSU Extension provides a community-based program series that teaches the basics of mindfulness to help participants be more aware of their thoughts, emotions and physical self as they encounter stressors. Mindfulness is proven to help relieve stress and pain and improve health and well-being, to learn more, sign up for a class near you.

 

This article was published by Michigan State University Extension. For more information, visit http://www.msue.msu.edu. To have a digest of information delivered straight to your email inbox, visit http://www.msue.msu.edu/newsletters. To contact an expert in your area, visit http://expert.msue.msu.edu, or call 888-MSUE4MI (888-678-3464).

Laughter has serious benefits

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No amount of running or other exercise massages our insides and settles or resets our mood the way laughter does.

By Tracie Abram, Michigan State University Extension

 

Not only is laughter universal, it is ageless. Picture a baby’s first belly laugh or seeing an older adult’s eyes light up with laughter. No matter what your age, laughter is good medicine and is an exercise everyone can enjoy doing. Laughter therapy has been practiced for centuries to help heal and today laughter is fast becoming the preventative exercise of choice due to its physical, mental, emotional and spiritual powers.

 

In the book, Laughter Therapy, by Annette Goodheart, Ph.D.; a whole chapter is dedicated to the physical benefits of laughter. You learn that laughter engages every major system in the body. Have you ever fallen out of your chair laughing or seen kids fall onto the floor and spitting food out of their mouths from laughing? Yes, it is known to cause us to wet our pants occasionally too! When we laugh, we literally lose muscle control.

 

The diaphragm is a muscle that separates our abdominal cavity from our chest cavity and is the only muscle in our body that is attached to other muscles. When we laugh, our diaphragm convulsively pulls on our side muscles and shakes up our stomach and other vital organs. We get an internal massage, which leaves our organs invigorated, juicy, pumped-up and alert.

 

Laughter has been clocked exiting our lungs at speeds up to seventy miles per hour. Needless to say, it gives our respiratory system a massive work out. Laughter sessions can provide a cardiovascular, pulmonary workout as well as massage your insides.

 

No amount of running or other exercise massages our insides and settles or resets our mood the way laughter does. People of all ages can do it together and it’s fun.

Laughing to relieve stress

Negative stress is both mentally and physically draining and can manifest as physical illness if not identified and managed. Laughter can help you manage stress similar to how physical exercise does. Laughter is both a pulmonary and cardiovascular workout in that it makes the heart and lungs work faster, which in turn pumps oxygenized blood to your cells faster, this stimulates your brain to make you more resilient to stressors.

 

Laughter is free, natural and you can access it easily. In fact, as Goodheart explains you don’t even need to find something funny or be feeling happy to practice laughter and benefit from it.

 

Don’t let emotional tension build to the point of tears. Set a goal to be aware or mindful of how many times per day you laugh. Think of it as an attitudinal exercise for your mind. Schedule time to practice laughter or join a laughter club.

Laughter education

Laughter education comes in a wide variety of forms and can be called clubs, classes, circles, programs or sessions. The most beneficial of these involve systematic programmable activities, typically provided in a group setting that provides laughter exercise and attitudinal mindfulness to achieve general or targeted goals. Laughter session objectives can include:

  • Increase awareness about attitudes and feelings towards laughter.
  • Provide opportunities for individuals to laugh.
  • Promote laughter in everyday life.
  • Provide respite from daily stress and worries.
  • Teach how laughter can be an effective mood regulator.
  • Encourage healthy choices and laughter, humor and mirth as self-care strategies.

Depending on the setting, individual participation in a therapeutic laughter program can be encouraged as a way to meet individual goals such as socialization, emotional expression, communication, focus, concentration and use of muscles and joints.

 

Michigan State University Extension provides a mindful laughter session as part of the Stress Less with Mindfulness series. To find a program near you, contact your local MSU Extension county office for more information.

 

This article was published by Michigan State University Extension. For more information, visit http://www.msue.msu.edu. To have a digest of information delivered straight to your email inbox, visit http://www.msue.msu.edu/newsletters. To contact an expert in your area, visit http://expert.msue.msu.edu, or call 888-MSUE4MI (888-678-3464).

What causes children to misbehave?

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By Tracie Abram, Michigan State University Extension

 

Summertime is depicted as a laid-back joyful season, when in fact for many, it is the opposite. Summertime for families of small children means added expenses of childcare or having to pay for additional meals that normally were less expensive due to school meal plans. Summertime generally means an interruption in routine. Children may be up later and therefore not getting enough sleep and possibly skipping meals or not eating as well due to busier schedules. Having a basic understanding of what triggers children to misbehave will help keep homes happy and safe.

 

One basic understanding is that children (and adults too) will misbehave when they are hungry, angry, lonely/bored or tired (HALT). People will not have as much tolerance and be more irritable when they are hungry, angry or not feeling well. If you or your children are experiencing any of these emotions or feelings halt what you are doing and tend to that need before moving on.

 

Another reason why children misbehave is that they may not fully understand the request. For an example, if you ask the child to calm down they may not understand that you mean and how to actually calm themselves. This is also an example of a lack of experience. Children do not have the experiences that adults have. It takes time for a child to fully develop problem solving and communication skills.

 

The practice of mindfulness can teach children and adults how to calm their minds and bodies to find a feeling of balance or confidence. Mindfulness is a practice of paying attention to your senses in the current moment without judgement. It is about being present and acknowledging the moment to moment experiences. Mindfulness helps develop focus and self regulation. When practiced regularly, the events that require acute attention will be less stressful because your body and mind have been conditioned to work together in paying attention.

 

Another reason children may misbehave is because their behaviors are accidently rewarded by adults. An example is when children wait to do something an adult asks of them until the adults tone of voice increases or that crying and whining gets a parents attention. Children also copy what they see others doing.

 

Sometimes children do things they know are wrong such as testing the rules, and showing independence. Nobody likes to be told what to do all the time and not have any choices. Children are learning how to do many things at a fast rate and they need to be able to show off what they have learned or can do.

 

When you or your children are showing one or more of these seven triggers, be mindful and acknowledge what you notice in a tone that will teach, guide and train your children.

  • Hunger, anger, lonely/bored, tired or sickness
  • Don’t understand the rules
  • Lack of experience
  • Misbehavior was accidentally rewarded
  • Testing the rules
  • Copying others
  • Showing independence

If you are struggling with understanding your children’s behavior, Michigan State University Extension has programming that can help.  Nurturing Families, RELAX: Alternatives to Anger, and Stress Less with Mindfulness are programming series that have been successful in helping many parent-child and family relationships. Peruse their website for programming near you.

 

This article was published by Michigan State University Extension. For more information, visit http://www.msue.msu.edu. To have a digest of information delivered straight to your email inbox, visit http://www.msue.msu.edu/newsletters. To contact an expert in your area, visit http://expert.msue.msu.edu, or call 888-MSUE4MI (888-678-3464).

Finding out what ‘well-being’ means to you

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Well-being involves finding a state of balance and being well both physically and mentally.

By Tracie Abram, Michigan State University Extension

 

What does “well-being” mean? As I ponder this question, I chuckle because I hardly ever hear people talking about how “well” they are. They usually talk about their problems, their aches and pains or stressors whether we want to hear about them or not. In other words, how “unwell” they are. When someone says they are concerned for your well-being, it typically means they are concerned about your overall health; your mental and physical health.

Well-being can be defined as having:
  • Positive relationships with yourself and others
  • Personal mastery — having feelings of accomplishment or self-worth
  • Autonomy — being able to make your own choices
  • A feeling of purpose and meaning in life
  • Personal growth and development

Our mental health relates to how we think, feel and act. It also helps determine how we handle stress, relate to others and make choices. Mental health is important at every stage of life, from childhood and adolescence through adulthood. Over the course of your life, if you experience mental health problems, your thinking, mood, and behavior could be affected.

 

One path to well-being is finding a state of balance that works for you. (Courtesy MSU Extension)

Experiencing a mental health issue or problem does not necessarily mean you have a diagnosable mental illness or disorder. Being able to talk freely about mental health issues is important in breaking the stigma that surrounds mental health. Mental health problems are much more common than many people realize, for example, more than 43 million Americans experience some form of mental illness in a given year. Help is available for anyone experiencing problems related to their mental health.

Many factors contribute to mental health problems, including:
  • Biological environmental factors
  • Life experiences, such as trauma or abuse
  • Family history of mental health problems
Finding your state of balance

One approach to well-being is through achieving a “state of balance” affected by both challenging and rewarding life events. This state of balance is the ultimate goal, but a subjective one — meaning that you are the only one who can judge whether you have reached it. A state of balance can look different for each of us.

 

Author of the Nurturing Parenting Programs, Dr. Stephen Bavelek, states that there are specific needs that help us remain balanced or build resiliency. To remember them, he developed an acronym called the “Spices of Life.” Bavelek states that the more “spices” you have, the more resilient you become.

Dr. Stephen Bavelek’s “Spices of Life” acronym:

  • Social
  • Physical
  • Intellectual
  • Creativity
  • Emotional
  • Spiritual

Perhaps you are drawn to one or two spices that help you maintain a feeling of balance? My go-to spices when feeling stressed are talking to a friend (social), going for a walk or run (physical) and praying (spiritual), but I am grateful that I have the capability to access any and all of them when and if I am in need.

 

When you approach health with well-being in mind there are a wide variety of ways to maintain, improve and most importantly, enjoy your health!

 

Michigan State University Extension provides free and low-cost community-based health programs throughout Michigan. These include RELAX: Alternatives to Anger and Stress Less with Mindfulness, programs that can help people manage stress and anger and cultivate personal well-being.

 

This article was published by Michigan State University Extension. Reprinted with permission. For more information, visit http://www.msue.msu.edu. To have a digest of information delivered straight to your email inbox, visit http://www.msue.msu.edu/newsletters. To contact an expert in your area, visit http://expert.msue.msu.edu, or call 888-MSUE4MI (888-678-3464).