Hard Truths: Survivor Liz Midkiff reveals dangerous misconceptions about human trafficking
By Deborah Reed
WKTV Managing Editor
TRIGGER WARNING: This article contains sensitive information about violence and rape that may be distressing or traumatic for some individuals.
WAR Ambassador and human trafficking survivor Liz Midkiff has spent half a decade educating youth and adults on the hard truths – and misconceptions – of human trafficking.
“A lot of people want to fight trafficking, but they don’t know how because information is so vague,” says Midkiff.
Midkiff’s own journey began at 15-years-old when she went on a mission trip to Thailand. Part of that trip involved visiting the red light district and understanding what human trafficking truly meant. Midkiff left Thailand believing God had called her to fight against trafficking.
However, three years later, Midkiff found herself a victim of sex trafficking – and it looked nothing like what she had seen in Thailand.
“People are just given vague information. They have no idea – what does it actually look like in America?”
Kidnapping vs. Grooming
In America, 3% of trafficking victims are kidnapped, but 90-95% are groomed by someone the victim knows. WAR S.T.A.N.D. classes, formulated by Midkiff and WAR founder Rebecca McDonald, focus on both aspects.
“In the classes…we talk about what is safe. What does safe feel like, what does safe look like?
“We talk about stranger danger, but we also talk about danger with people we know. What happens when family and friends are not safe? You’ve got to give the kids options, but you also have to give them what is safe and what’s not safe.”
According to the Children’s Advocacy Project, grooming is defined as “when someone builds a relationship, trust and emotional connection with a child or young person so they can manipulate, exploit and abuse them.”
Grooming is a deliberate process and can take place over minutes, weeks or years, and can happen in person and online. Many groomers also build relationships with family and friends of their target so they appear trustworthy or authoritative.
Midkiff says this is confusing to adults and is often asked to explain what grooming looks like.
“A lot of people have a lot of basic knowledge of what trafficking is, but they don’t know what it looks like or what to even do if they see it,” said Midkiff. “That’s where I feel I can help.”
Taking a S.T.A.N.D.
“I created the S.T.A.N.D. classes because that was something that was really important to me as a mom [and] because I can teach them real-life experience.”
Midkiff’s S.T.A.N.D. classes begin at 5-years-old because kids understand the concepts of safety and right vs. wrong. However, Midkiff has noticed that many parents avoid talking to their children about trafficking because they believe it will scare them.
“I think adults are more scared than the kids are,” said Midkiff.
Knowledge and preparation help combat that fear.
Prevention: Discretion
Social media discretion – such as abstaining from posting naked pictures of children, or where they go to school – is a preventative measure that can be taken immediately after birth.
Another discretionary action that Midkiff personally implements is having children wear full clothing when in public.
Prevention: Knowledge
While at a playground with her 5-year-old son, a man sat down and began talking to Midkiff. She had noticed him around the playground and assumed he worked there. He did not.
At one point, the man lifted his shirt, without Midkiff’s consent, to show off his tattoos. Midkiff’s son noticed and ran over, inserting himself between the two adults and refusing to leave, stating it was not safe for his mother.
“He’s five,” said Midkiff. “He was not scared. He was empowered, and he knew exactly what to do. He knew the signs, and he knew what that looked like…because of the class he took one time.”
Midkiff believes educating children when they are young is an excellent form of prevention. Numerous women have approached Midkiff saying, I’ve lived with being molested as a child for 60 years because I didn’t know that didn’t happen to everybody else. I didn’t know what to do.
“If we can get the kids when they’re kids, they don’t have to wait till they’re 60 to have the realization there was something they could have done,” said Midkiff.
Prevention: Recognition
Not only will children be able to help themselves, they will be able to recognize signs of grooming and/or trafficking of others around them.
“If [my son is] doing this stuff at five, when he’s [older] he’s going to know if his 15-year-old friend has a bad boyfriend or a trafficker,” said Midkiff. “And he’s going to know what to do.
Knowing the difference is important, because those situations can look very similar. Midkiff cites sextortion as an example.
Fraud and coercion
While sending naked pictures of yourself to someone you are in a relationship with is not smart, it is not illegal. However, if that relationship ends and the other person sells those pictures to friends, or uses those pictures against you – threatening to show them to others unless you do certain things – it creates a completely different situation.
“Now he’s manipulating you, he’s coercing you,” said Midkiff, adding that it’s confusing to many people because the entire situation began as a consensual relationship. “When I do my class, I talk about force fraud and coercion; that is what makes something trafficking.”
Kids grooming kids
Midkiff’s five-year-old son was recently groomed at a mall by another boy.
The 12-year-old boy approached Midkiff’s son and repeatedly asked if he wanted to come outside to the playground. Despite moving to other areas of the store, the boy persisted, even inserting himself between Midkiff and her son.
“He was trying to separate me from my son,” said Midkiff. “He was grooming him: ‘I like your car, do you like to play on the playground?’ It was innocent kid talk, but did it make sense? No, it didn’t. He didn’t have his mother [with him], and young boys don’t follow other women to the underwear department.”
As Midkiff left with her son, she noticed two older men waiting for that 12-year-old boy at the front doors.
If Midkiff had not been paying attention, she may not have noticed the boy’s grooming tactics. And her young son might have gone with him.
“That’s how it happens,” said Midkiff. “It’s not just snatching them from the store. You can lure him anywhere with a toy. Those are things to look for. And those are the kind of situations I teach.”
Prevention: Be observant, ask questions
Midkiff says simply being observant can prevent trafficking.
Despite going to a doctor several times while being trafficked, not one nurse or doctor questioned her about obvious evidence of violence.
One friend commented on bruises on Midkiff’s arms. Midkiff sarcastically said that she fell down the stairs – while desperately hoping the girl would ask more questions, offer a place to stay or a phone number to call if Midkiff needed anything.
“She knew there was something else there, and she chose not to ask more questions because she thought I was being standoffish. Why was I being standoffish? Because I didn’t want to put her in danger.”
Many people, however, don’t even know what to look for.
“People say, look for someone who looks malnourished. Well, 70% of the people you see might look malnourished. Maybe their parents don’t feed them, or they have an eating disorder, or they’re struggling artists.”
Midkiff has developed a three-strike rule.
“If three things look out of place then I will make the call to the human trafficking hotline number,” said Midkiff, citing an instance when she saw a woman enter an urgent care with a girl who bore a barcode tattoo on the back of her neck.
That tattoo was an automatic red flag for Midkiff. And since 60% of traffickers are women, there was no guarantee the woman was the girl’s mother.
That was enough for Midkiff; she called WAR.
“There were 20 people in that urgent care. Do you think anybody else thought of that? I doubt it. Because nobody even knew that’s what to look for. To me, it was literally sitting right in front of me.”
Traffickers move victims around often to confuse them and prevent them from being able to tell anyone where they are. If someone doesn’t know where they are going or where they are coming from, it is a red flag.
“Even my five-year-old knows where he lives. But some of these girls, they’re being transported every six days, and possibly to different states.”
Comply vs. Consent
Midkiff also teaches the difference between comply and consent.
Teaching a child to say no is important. However, our bodies have at least three different responses to trauma: fight, flight and freeze.
If a child does not say no when faced with a traumatic situation, it is not because they did something wrong, it is because their body shut down – which is a normal reaction, said WAR founder Rebecca McDonald.
“To freeze is a normal, actually healthy, response to trauma. You’re trying to be quiet and not bring attention to yourself.”
That does not, McDonald continued, mean you were consenting.
If being robbed, we are taught to put our personal safety first – to do as instructed and not resist.
“We’re taught to comply. Not consent, but to comply,” said McDonald. “Trafficking survivors have complied a lot. It just means that they did what it took to stay alive and survive.”
Set aside fear
Midkiff urges parents to set aside uncertainty regarding conversation about trafficking – before it’s too late.
“Trafficking is happening.”
*Read Liz Midkiff’s full survivor story in WKTV’s Voices of Freedom series.
Resources
Women at Risk, International (WAR, Int’l) is knowledgable and has access to resources such as Homeland Security and the FBI. WAR also provides wraparound services which provide survivors with additional needed help and life skills.
– Women at Risk, International can be reached by phone at 616-855-0796, toll free at 877 END-SLAVERY (363-7528), or via email at info@warinternational.org. You can also reach them via their website contact form.
*In an emergency, call 911.
– If you or someone you know is a victim of human trafficking, contact the National Human Trafficking Hotline. It is a free, 24/7 service that offers confidential and multilingual support, information and local resources for victims, survivors, and witnesses of human trafficking.
The hotline can be reached:
- By phone: 1-888-373-7888
- By email: help@humantraffickinghotline.org
- By text: text HELP to 233733 (BEFREE)
- Online chat: www.humantraffickinghotline.org
– If you believe a child is involved, contact the National Center for Missing & Exploited Children at 1-800-THE-LOST or www.cybertipline.com, 24 hours a day, 7 days a week.
– Additional resources can be found here: Trafficking Resources.
